Prayer: God, have mercy on me. At times I trust You, other times I struggle. I will continue to seek You and believe that You love me just as I am. Let Your mercy be my refuge as I heal from a painful past, and my hope in You set my feet firmly on the road to freedom. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Are you unclear on how to pray over a particular circumstance? This scripture reminds us all that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us. God is always at work on our behalf. When the words don't come, read Romans 8:25-26 aloud. Thank God for this truth, and agree with his Holy Spirit, who intercedes on your behalf. 

Prayer: Thank You, Lord, for speaking for me when I cannot speak for myself. Help me to see more and more that You want the very best for me. Strengthen me each day to persevere as I wait for transformation. My hope is in You. In Jesus' name, Amen.

It sounds beautiful . . .  but what does this mean? How do we humble ourselves under God's hand? Humility is a posture we must take to heal and live an abundant life.

How do you start? Start by simply kneeling before the Lord. Sit quietly. Trust that He is with you.

Overtime, you'll become increasingly aware of His presence. Overtime, you'll come to believe He has your best interest at heart. He is for you and not against you.

Affirmation: Today I will simply sit in the presence of God, trusting that He is all powerful, all knowing. He knows the yearnings of my heart. I am safe under His mighty hand.

--Diane Ackerman, Poet

When I reflect on my life, I do not merely see the length of my life circumstances; tragic, joyful, and everything in between. I see the width of God's love creating horizons that reflect a greater good. Not just for me, but for those who are still trying to function throughout the length of a single day. Absolutely nothing I've been through has been in vain.

I encourage you to ask God to reveal His glory in your circumstances. Today, 3-D movies are the big craze. But the technology of man cannot hold a candle to God's multi-dimensional love for you.

"For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith;

 that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height--to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God" (Ephesians 3:14-19).

(from my archives)

God is not in a hurry. If you fill pressured to make a quick decision, it's probably not God. His presence brings peace to our circumstances. Even a tough decision that requires a timely response can be made in peace when we slow down and receive instruction. Sometimes God speaks to our hearts. Other times we receive wise counsel from a trusted mentor, pastor, counselor, or friend.

Prayer: God, I have important decisions to make. I lay my desires at Your feet. I will wait on Your instruction. If I am to seek wise counsel, please prompt me to seek, and trust You to send the best person to advise me. If You want to speak to my heart directly, help me to take time to listen quietly for further instruction. However the answer comes, I will remember that godly answers contain godly characteristicss. The wisdom I need to make my decision is:

1. pure
2. peaceable
3. gentle
4. willing to yield
5. full of mercy
6. without partiality
7. without hypocrisy

In Jesus' name, Amen.

Because we have Easter. We have hope.

What do you hope for today?

He always did. The days were long. My life was hard. But still, He gave me the grace to rise and walk. I was lonely for adult fellowship. I was tired. But today, I'm grateful for that season in my life. I learned how to depend on God, simply by asking for the strength to get out of bed each day and show up for my life.

If you wake each morning with an overwhelming desire to put the blankets over your head and go back to sleep, take a deep breath. Then ask God to direct your steps, beginning with the ones you must take to get out of bed. I understand how hard it is to move your feet when all you can see is a day filled with challenges. Step into your day expecting God to move on your behalf. And when you climb into bed at night, thank Him for the day, even if the good He's accomplished is not yet recognizable to you.

Remember, I pray for you! And I would never ask you to do something I haven't done myself. A grateful heart can move mountains. 

Prayer: Father in heaven, thank You for working on my behalf. You are my refuge. You are my strength. You are in every step I take. In Jesus' name, amen.

Today, Christ gathers the fragments of our hearts, makes us whole, and then uses our stories to feed those who hunger for encouragement--assurance that they are not alone.

No matter where you are in the healing process, chances are you have something to offer someone who's not as far along as you. It's also likely that if you're open to receiving help, God has placed someone in your life that can come along side you as you continue to grow.

Who can you encourage today? How? Who can encourage you? Will you let them?

A word about seasons of isolation: There have been times in my life when I've reached out for help, but it didn't come from human hands. Times when I believed I would go insane from loneliness AND being alone. I've learned that during those times God wanted my full attention. If you better relate to this scenario, spend time talking to God each day. Really talking. Tell Him how you feel about this season in your life. And rest assured--it's only for a season.

Read stories that tell of God's servants during seasons of isolation. Notice how they responded to God. Take note of the insights they gained. Ask God for wisdom and the know-how to apply it to your circumstances.

Prayer: God, I entrust You with the fragments of my heart and I believe You will make me whole. Guide me today. Help me to recognize that there is purpose in my life. Provide opportunities for me to be a source of encouragement to others, and grant me the courage to be obedient to what You ask of me. If You want my full attention, let Your very presence teach me that I am never alone. I do not suffer in vain. In Jesus' name, amen.

Today, I find great comfort in this scripture. But I remember when it frustrated me. My life was a desperate haze of pain and confusion. I wanted freedom, but I didn't know where to begin. I needed the words in my Bible (which are alive and active) to be alive and active in my life. 

If you can relate, don't give up. Highlight a few verses in the Bible that speak to your circumstances. Next, hold fast to the promises of God. If what you've highlighted is a prayer, pray it daily. Memorize the Word of God. Speak it aloud everyday. When you can't sleep, meditate on the Word of God.

Psalm 32:8 is a great place to start. Write it down and carry it with you. Pray it everyday. Make time to LISTEN for His response, write down what you hear, and then follow His lead.

Lord, instruct me and teach me in the way I should go. Counsel me and watch over me. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Overtime, you will become increasingly aware of when He is instructing, teaching, counseling, and watching over you. In those moments, thank Him and record the date in your journal.

"Lord, thank You for instructing me and watching over me. In Jesus' name, Amen."

Powerful. Practical.

Are you willing to give it a try?

(Isaiah 60:20 NKJV)

Nine years ago, my husband brought a Bible home and placed it on the coffee table. I was a few hours away from attending my first group therapy for survivors of sexual abuse. I hadn't read the Bible in decades. I avoided them. But there it was. And there I was. Desperate for a word of encouragement, I opened it and read . . . "your days of sorrow will end."

I clung to that promise and never let go. It took time. More time than I wanted to invest, but eventually I realized I was worth the time it took to heal. God Himself used that season of my life to invest in me, to prove to me that I mattered to Him. That what happened to me mattered to Him.

By the time my days of mourning ended, I no longer saw the promise as the prize. I saw the Promise Maker as my prize. Healing was icing on the cake. That is my great hope for you!

Are you willing to take hold of that promise and continue to seek the One who offers it to you? It's okay if at first the promise of an end to mourning is what motivates you. As God guides your steps, He fills your heart with more than what you originally ask for.

Prayer: God in heaven, I believe the days of my mourning will end. "I believe. Help me with my unbelief." (Mark 9:24) I won't give up, except when I do. Then I need You to renew my resolve to begin again. The world is a dangerous place for a girl. Reveal to me the refuge in being Your daughter. In Jesus' name, Amen."

The last few days were cold and rainy. A suppressed memory found its way out of the corners of my mind. Truthfully, God in all His graciousness, released it--not to cause me pain. Not to set me back, but to catapult me into a new dimension of freedom. I trust Him. I trust this process. It's why I continually point you to this process in Him.

Today the sun is out. The sky is blue. And I am stronger than I was two days ago. When memories surface, I know it's an opportunity to overcome. When God sheds light into our hearts, though sometimes painful, it's only to heal and strengthen us.

I've ask God to "unite my heart to fear His name." (Not the scary kind of fear, but rather reverential--a deep trust, coupled with honor and respect.) He answered,yes to my prayer. I humbly thanked Him. Was my behavior perfect, initially? Nope. My family can tell you how agitated I'd become to receiving exactly what I'd asked for. Thankfully, I have a merciful husband.

How do you perceive painful memories? Do you attempt to stuff them? Or do you invite a holy, healing God to unite your heart to fear His name?

-William Shakespeare, Othello

It's true. In the Old Testament, when victims of cruelty gained victory over their enemies, they entered into their enemy's territory and walked out with everything valuable. It's referred to as "plunder."

We have a very real enemy who comes to kill, steal, and destroy. (John 10:10) But when we place one hand in God's, trust Him with our pain, and continue to put one foot in front of the other even though we feel like dieing . . . victory comes. And with that victory  comes a day when we "plunder" the enemy land of a painful past. I promise. But more importantly, God promises.  

"To comfort all who mourn, to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified" (Isaiah 61:3 NKJV).

"Instead of your shame you shall have double honor, and instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double; everlasting joy shall be theirs." (verse 7)

Keep going. Don't give up. The enemy will "rue the day" he tried to kill, steal, and destroy you!

I have found this to be true in every area of my life.

I knew I wanted to heal from an abusive past when I determined to give up a victim mentality. I gave up the belief that I was damaged for good. I let go of the idea that I was bound to dysfunctional relationships. 

How did I do this?

I resolved to participate in my own healing. I set aside time to be alone with God each day. I sought therapy; individual and group. I followed my counselor's suggestions. I memorized Scripture and meditated on them when I felt overwhelmed with pain. I resolved to overcome . . . no matter what.

I knew I wanted my marriage to heal when I became willing to die to selfishness and stop living life so "guarded." I stopped complaining about my husband and started honoring him. I didn't always think it was fair. Sometimes it wasn't. But God honored my efforts and over time, transformed my husband into the best husband in the world. Seriously. This doesn't mean he's perfect. It means he seeks God, does his best to obey God, and values me. He's awesome (even though he almost never returns his shoes to the closet).

I knew I wanted to be a better mother when I gave up screaming at my children. I let go of reasons to scold and looked for ways to encourage them to do their best. I watched for "teachable moments." I quit complaining when they acted rebellious and chose to pray diligently and give them consequences. I fought for my children. 

I knew I wanted to mature in Christ when I gave up my childish ways: Pitching fits when I didn't get my way. Arguing to prove a point instead of yielding to restore peace. Serving the fear of rejection by keeping to myself or "not playing well with others."

A crippled man knew he wanted to be made well when he gave up lying on his mat after thirty-eight years and obeyed Jesus when He said, "Rise, take up your bed and walk." (John 5: 5-8)

Practical tip: To give something up, you must replace it with something. Want to give up eating ice cream at 10:00 at night? Then eat an apple (something healthy that you enjoy.) If you try not eating anything at all, you're more likely to eat ice cream. Want to stop drinking alcohol? Participate in a twelve-step program and DRINK something non-alcoholic when you feel like drinking. If you refuse to hydrate when you're thirsty, you're more likely to drink the alcohol or soft drink; whatever you're trying to give up.

Want to heal? Seek God as if your life depends on it--because it does. Take hold of Him and overtime, you'll find yourself healing from the the things that once took hold of you.

Do you know, really know, what you want? What are you willing to give up to receive it?

I looked under his arm. I looked closer. Hmmm. "Zachary, I don't see anything. Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, Mom. Put your glasses on!"

I looked again. I thought to myself Don't laugh. Don't laugh. This is serious business to him!

Later that evening, my husband, Michael received the breaking news--only he used a flashlight to look. I STILL couldn't see a thing. I was impressed and humbled by his reply, "Oh, I see it! Way to go!"

In that moment, I thought of Romans 4:17. It reminded me that God gives life to the dead and calls into being things which do not exist. It's true for my son. It's true for me. It's true for you.

Years ago, when my life was a desperate haze of pain and confusion, I believed that I would heal. I sought healing. I waited for healing. I believed it was mine to receive--despite seasons when there were no signs that my life was changing. That I was changing.

But one day, I did see changes in myself. I'd reacted differently to the very circumstances I'd spent months asking God to change. From there, my circumstances began to change. Go figure.

Your circumstances will change. But the change you long for must begin with you. 

Today, as I pray for you. I see you changing. I see you healing. I see you seek the Healer with all sincerity. I see you restored. Wow! Way to go!

What do you see? 

"The gospel is not for the good guys with the white hats. It's for the poor, weak, sinful men and women with hereditary faults and limited talents--people like you, people like me. And on Judgement Day, our lives will be measured solely in terms of our personal relationship with the risen Jesus. The Lord is going to ask each of us a question that will encompass all other questions: "Did you believe I loved you? That I desired you? That I waited for you day after day?" [end excerpt]  (copyright 1990, 2000, 2005 by Brennan Manning)

May You alone enlighten me, You alone speak to me. May all that I know apart from You be nothing more than a chance traveling companion on the journey toward You.

--Karl Rahner

Do you believe He loves you? Why or why not? If you believe He loves you, thank Him, and ask Him to reveal more of Himself to you. If you struggle to believe He loves you, tell Him, then ask Him to reveal more of Himself to you.

Our dinner guest are on their way home and my husband is walking the dogs. Just wanted to let you know that I prayed for you today. No matter your circumstances, you are valued and treasured in God's sight. Should tonight be a sad night for you, allow the God of all comfort to gently hold you under the shadow of His wing. His love never fails. You can trust Him with your heart. Now and forever.

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Narcotics Anonymous includes this passage in their literature. When I was a single mother with a baby, two young boys, and a broken heart, it was difficult to function. The thought of my daily responsibilities overwhelmed me. 

So, I reduced my schedule into intervals of time: An hour and a half to take the boys to school in a neighboring town. An hour to get ready for work. Five hours as a clinical massage therapist--one client at at time; one hour at a time.

Focusing on increments of time instead of a twenty-four hour day, enabled me to keep moving. I was desperate. I was tired. I needed grace (and lots of it), simply to get through each day. I prayed my way through everything required of me. Amazing Grace kept me moving.

My circumstances didn't last forever. What I learned about the unfailing love of God throughout my circumstances, continues to serve me today.

If you're overwhelmed by the idea of getting your children ready for school and the next five tasks that follow; pause. Ask God for the grace to ready your kiddos and drop them off. Then pray again regarding the next item on your "to do" list.

"Therefore don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34 NIV)  

Try breaking this bible verse down further: Therefore, don't worry about what needs to happen at noon today. Trust God to strengthen you through the morning. Noon-time presents enough challenges of its own.

The instructor shouted, "Don't over-think it! Stop taking small steps with no energy because you're afraid of messing up! Take big steps with passion and don't be afraid! Besides, we learn more from the bigger mistakes and we're less likely to repeat them."

Thank you, Jesus. And forgive me, for forgetting that it's You who prompts me to step out and You who empowers me to take each step with passion.

Do you have a tendency to hold back when you're unsure of yourself? Ask God to ready your heart to do something new and exciting. He is with you every step of the way. 

"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." (Proverbs 16:9)

In therapy, I learned to counter my negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Bible studies taught me to quote Scripture that spoke specifically to my circumstances. I did both. But at the risk of offending some--I didn't experience the full empowerment of either plan UNTIL out of complete frustration I confessed my thoughts and feelings at the feet of Jesus. In my walk-in closet, I formed a habit of telling Him everything, everyday.

No matter how ugly the thoughts, I confessed aloud to Beauty; again and again. He never tired of my confessions. He never shamed me. He listened with compassion and forgave my sins when my thoughts convinced me to retaliate. He loved me.

Slowly, I overcame. I was no longer captive to angry, destructive thoughts. I was released from the prison of "I can't forgive."

". . . Take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5).

There's a scene in which she finds herself alone in an elevator with her soon-to-be ex-husband. He says something sarcastic and her emotions take over:

Judith Moore (to a friend after confronting her ex-husband in the elevator): I mean, the situation clearly called for me to attack him!

I've been there and done that. And for the same reason. Except, I wasn't married to the man I attacked who'd gotten involved with a younger woman.

I hurt a lot of people that day. I'd intended to hurt only the man who'd hurt me, but from the moment I bowed to my emotions, Fury took no prisoners. I hurt myself. I hurt my children. I hurt my finances (I was ticketed and fined for a Class-C assault).

I've learned over the years that when someone hurts me, they're more likely to feel conviction over their behavior when I refrain from attempting to out-hurt them. God is my vindicator.

"A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back. (Proverbs 29:11)

A Healthy Reaction: If you've been hurt by someone you love, run to God. Cry. Vent. Feel. Allow the God of all comfort to dry your tears. Ask for wisdom. Wait for it. This plan of re-action will empower you. Venting may give temporary relief, but truth is, it will strip you of dignity and power in the days to come.

Confession is vital to healing. When I confess my trespasses, I take responsibility for my actions, which creates fertile soil for spiritual growth. In all circumstances, I must be willing to look at myself first. Did I play a role (small or large) in the unfolding of painful events? There are times when the answer is no. (Child sexual abuse is an example. No child is ever to blame.)

But what about the relationships I choose? In 1995, I met the man who is my husband today. I thank God for him. Truly, he's my better half, HOWEVER, that was not always the case. When I met him, he had just gotten out of rehab for drug addiction. Was I crazy? Well . . . yes, but I was also selfish. I knew he was unhealthy. I knew he didn't have a thing in the world to offer me. BUT I felt strong and valued in his arms--my motivation for getting on an express elevator to hell with a really cute guy whom I later blamed for all my troubles.

Are you still with me? The Big Book of A.A. describes this scenario best: I made a decision based on self that set in motion, a train of circumstances I felt I didn't deserve. Ouch! But you know what? I didn't begin to heal until I owned up to my selfish pursuit of value through another human being. I confessed to God and my spiritual mentor, then I began the long journey of discovering my value in Christ.

If you're in a relationship today that's brought you to your knees . . . maybe it's time to pray. Be willing to look at your motives. Ask God to reveal them if you're not sure what they are. Take responsibility for your motives/actions, and let go of what is not yours. That's where real healing begins. And once you've done that, no one, I repeat--no one, has the power to strip you of the healing and honor God gives you.

(from my archives)

Affirmation: I will yield to God's agenda for my life today. I will listen for His instruction, trust Him to direct my steps, and detach from the outcome. God is in control. 

Confusion is a by-product of envy and self-seeking. If you're up to your chin in confusion; self reflect. Is your faith wavering? Are the motives behind your decision making based on self-preservation and/or self-protection? If the answer is yes, confess. Christ delights in our humble confessions--the conduit with which His strength flows.

When we attempt to control our own fate, we will not hear clearly from God. We will suffer from confusion.

Lately, I've been confused about a few things. So, this morning, I will humbly ask the Lord to reveal where I self-seek and self-preserve.

How about you? Are you confused?  

Prayer: Thank You, Lord for speaking to me today. When I hit road-blocks and confusion, reveal to me the areas where I push You away and attempt to control my own fate. It is my heart's desire to hear You clearly and then act on Your instruction. I ask to walk humbly before You all the days of my life. In Jesus' name, Amen

Your sun shall no longer go down, Nor shall your moon withdrawal itself; For the Lord will be your everlasting light, And the days of your mourning shall be ended.

Also, your people shall be righteous; They shall inherit the land forever, The branch of My planting, The work of My hands, That I may be glorified.

A little one shall become a thousand, And a small one a strong nation. I, the Lord, will hasten it in its time. (Isaiah 60: 19-22)

In 2003, a few hours before my first session of group therapy for survivors of sexual abuse, twenty three years after vowing never to attend church again; this scripture found its way into my life.

I was so frightened by my decision to face the past that I clung to this as if my life depended on it. Truthfully, it did. Healing took time. More time than I wanted it to. But eventually my days of sorrow did come to an end. Yours will too.

I pray for you. I don't know your name, but God does. Do you have a scripture to hold on to as you begin a new journey for 2012? If not, Isaiah 60: 19-22 is ideal for women who are determined to gain freedom this year.

Praise be to God, who makes all things new!

To receive instruction from God, we must seek instruction from God. We ask in prayer, read His word, and yield to what He teaches us. He will not fight us for control. If we're stubborn about doing things our way, we will walk through the natural consequences of our actions. The good news is, God is merciful. We are free to confess, "Lord, I messed up. Forgive me. Teach me Your ways."

Where do you see yourself today? Are you stubborn about controlling outcomes, or are you willing to yield to God's ideas. He sees the other side of your disappointments, and delights in restoring your joy.

Prayer: God, You see my circumstances. You know what it will take for me to experience lasting change in my life. Teach me how to seek You and yield to You. Heal the places in my heart that compel me to control outcomes. I invite Your transforming love into my fears. In Jesus' name, Amen.

So, this morning, on my knees, I prayed for you (if this is you.) Tonight, when I retire, I will pray for you again. Perhaps, unbeknownst to me, someone prayed for me all those years. There is power in prayer.

Hold your face up to the Light. Take a few moments to reflect on the birth of our Savior--our Healer. Merry Christmas, child of God.

*If someone you love battles addiction, I encourage you to visit is this for you? and select the category: boundaries

Simple. Not easy. 

When you find yourself in a hole--and desperately want out, ask yourself: Will what I am about to say or do make things worse (dig a deeper hole) or move me toward a solution?

Sometimes the hole we find ourselves in is the consequence of our own actions. Other times the cause is due to the careless sin of another. In each circumstance we have a choice to make: Continue digging or take action that moves us up and out.

If you're in a hole today, consider identifying any actions you've taken or words you've spoken that made an already bad situation worse. Now identify three actions you can take or words you can speak that are solution oriented.

Simple. Not easy.

Simple. Not always easy. But always worth it. Always.

No matter where you find yourself over the holidays (hurting, hopeful, or happy), if you'll set aside some time to invite God into each day, you will awaken to His presence in every circumstance. At times you'll feel comforted. Other times your comfort will come from a deep knowing that God will never leave you or forsake you. 

If the holidays hurt, whisper several times a day: Immanuel. Make a list of what you do have to be grateful for--with the presence of God at the top of the list. A wise woman encouraged me in this activity at a time when my life was a desperate haze of pain and confusion. Today, I enjoy the outcome of my obedience.

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of my countenance, my God. (Psalm 42:5 NKJV)

It's only natural for our souls to be troubled at times. It's times like these we can draw near to God simply by kneeling. Kneeling is a humble posture which positions us to be renewed and empowered. No one wants to feel sad, but even as I grieved the loss of a friend last fall, I was thankful that I could feel. I remember well when I couldn't feel or cry--numb from years of child abuse. Today, even the ability to cry is a gift from God.

Prayer: Thank You, Lord, that I can feel. Thank You, that I can trust You as I feel. Revive me with Your loving kindness. In Jesus' name, Amen.

In my own experience, I would say to myself: I thought I was healed. Why is this happening? Don't be alarmed if you're asking yourself the same questions. Any measure of healing given by the Healer is authentic. But because He is gentle with us, He heals in His own time-line; layer by layer.

I encourage you to view additional pain positively. It's a sign that you're ready to heal more thoroughly. In other words, the territory in your heart is being expanded by God. What you identify as new pain, is really more of what has hurt you in the past and it must go. He loves you that much.

Take heart if you're having one of "those" days. Be kind to yourself. Today, think of an act of kindness you can bestow upon yourself. It can be something simple, like treating yourself to an ice cream cone or new nail polish.

Think of ways this act of kindness can be shared with loved ones. Perhaps a friend would enjoy a trip to get ice cream, too. Little girls love to paint their nails as big girls. Give it a try, you're worth it!

The wind blows today. The birds sing everyday. I sit. I listen to the sounds of God's creation and thank Him for teaching me the value of sitting in silence. The value in taking deep breaths.

When you feel anxious, take a break from what you're doing or planning to do. Take a few minutes and be still. Be still. Breath deeply. Confess to God that you're losing balance and ask Him to restore your strength with quietness and confidence.

Affirmation: Today, when I feel the most pressured to produce results in my life, I will be still and know that He is God. I will breath. I will listen for the still small voice of reason.

Last night I settled in with him to read Searching for Bobby Fischer. It's a compelling story of a father (Fred Waitzkin) and his son, who happens to be a real American chess prodigy. It's been made into a movie that I highly recommend. (You don't have to be a fan of chess to appreciate this beautiful father-son story.)

As I held the book in my hand, the sub-title resonated with me: Every Journey Begins with a Single Move. It got me thinking. . .

Sometimes our "to do" lists are so long, we waste valuable energy trying to decide what we'll do first. Other times, we become so overwhelmed by our circumstances that we become imobilized and subsequently do nothing to bring about a shift in perspective.

Someone once suggested that during these times, just do ONE thing differently. One move. One step. Allow the first step to create a shift in perspective. The following steps will come more naturally.

Regardless of what's on your list today or what your circumstances are, your journey begins with a single move.

What will you do first today? It's your move. 

It doesn't say, "to strengthen those who always respond to life's challenges with a graceful Christian countenance." We're human. Sometimes we screw up. Sometimes we need our attitudes adjusted. Sometimes we miss the mark. Sometimes our best efforts  disappoint others. But no matter the circumstances, if we keep our hearts open to the love of God, then we receive what we need most during trying times . . . God's immeasurable, unfailing love. Refuge for our troubled souls. We are renewed.

The love of God strengthens those who find refuge in the humble confession that we are weak and prone to wonder. How amazing is the Grace that seeks to strenghten us with His love, no matter the circumstances.

Let God love you today. Don't beat yourself up for the mistakes you've made. Fully committ your heart to Him (the good, the bad, and ugly) and you will overcome.

I climbed into bed that night and second-guessed myself. Had I really heard from God? Was I crazy? 

Two days later, I met with a woman who encouraged me to apply to be a Premier Presenter for a women's organization. One of the requirements is a DVD Demo of my message: How to Forgive What You'll Never Forget. This is an amazing opportunity. I realize now, that I'm NOT crazy and I DID hear from God when He told me to lay down for a season, the frequency that I blogged.

Things are moving fast, now. I can't help but wonder: What if I'd been disobedient to what God told me to do. What if I'd taken a month or so to wrestle before realizing He wasn't trying to take something away, He was trying to bless me?

The Lesson? When God tells you to do something--DO IT. Just do it. There's more at stake than anything a NIKE commercial can portray.  

I DID it! I was obedient when it seemed CRAZY. Remember, I referred to this as social media suicide. But, I can already see that this is a good thing. Frightening, but GOOD! Who knows. maybe one of these days we'll meet face to face after a conference. You never know.

One thing I do know. All things are possible through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13) 

What is God asking you to do? Are you afraid to do it? Do you hesitate to be obedient? Just do it!

It's easy and human to feel overwhelmed at times. That's why we need each other. Sometimes just telling someone else how you feel can bring relief. Other times hearing someone else say they feel the same as you is a much needed lift to the spirit.

Yesterday I felt overwhelmed by all that I have to do each day. A friend of mine, also in women's ministry, shared that she, too, was overwhelmed. It felt good to know that I'm not the only woman trying keep my peace with the demands of each day. Good demands. But demands just the same.

Are you overwhelmed? If yes, perhaps it will help you to know; I am, too. Let's commit to spending some time sitting quietly with God today/tonight. He knows our thoughts. He sees them race. Let's be still and know that He is God. Let's recharge.

Years ago, at a time when I was sure God was there--just not there for me, I sought Him anyway.  And just like the Bible says, I not only found Him, I found Him there for me. To this day, when I seek to discover something about God I didn't know the day before, He is faithful to present opportunities that reveal more of Himself AND the me He created me to be. This is how I grow. It's also how you grow.

I highly recommend this.

Can you think of a new way to seek God? Maybe you pray a lot, but neglect to sit quietly in His presence. Perhaps you journal your thoughts to Him. If so, try reading aloud to Him. Often times, we'll tell everyone BUT Him about who and what bothers us. Seek. Find. Grow! 

Yesterday was such a day for me. Though, my friend is not old. She's twenty-eight. I'm forty-four. What could two women with an age spread like this have in common? Initially, the past. We're both survivors of child sexual abuse. Also the present. We're both committed to healing and not living life as victims. And now, through the restoration we've received in Christ; we share a common hope for the future.

My friend is amazing. What Jesus did for two once broken-hearted girls with broken-down lives is amazing. The Subway sandwiches we ate as we talked were amazing.

Today, I invite you to ponder on something my friend shared.

At twenty-eight years old, she realized that she'd hurt herself longer than the adults in her childhood. She was twelve when she vowedto be her own protector--a decision that caused more harm than good. "I know now that I am no more capable of protecting myself at twenty-eight, than I was at twelve. Jesus is my protector. And I can look back and see where He intervened through people and circumstances."

How about you? Can you remember vowing to protect yourself as a child? What were the results? Have you assumed the role of hurting yourself long after the abuse stopped? It's never too late to be restored. Never to late to become the woman God created you to be.

"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you."

--Dr. Seuss

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 134:14 )

But there I was. I'll admit, I was initially disgruntled that my work schedule had interfered with my usual day to shop. Friday. Friday morning to be exact. No crowds. Easy breezy.

I was headed to the shampoo isle when I noticed an employee with a young boy by her side, approaching a man I presumed to be his father. Most of us, at one time or another, have witnessed this scenario. The look of relief on a child's face as they're safely returned to Mom or Dad. Perhaps you've been that child.

I love reunions. So, I watched the boy being escorted to his father. Only he didn't look relieved. He looked frightened. His little eyes widened and the closer he came to his father, the slower he walked. The man didn't smile. Instead, he scowled.

My heart ached. I remember that look. It's the look a child attempts to hide from others--and himself, for as long as he can in life. When the the boys rescuer turned away, his arm was pinched. When the first pinch failed to produce tears, a second pinch was inflicted. This breaks my heart.

I prayed for the boy as I completed my shopping. And I asked God to forgive me for taking my life for granted. Grocery shopping in a crowd is a "high-class problem." How quickly I forget. How quickly I need to be humbled in an easy-breezy day.

That night, as I prayed for the young boy and all the children he represents, I found myself praying for his father, too. God opened the eyes of my heart to see a broken man, breaking a child. Both need healing.

We've all been hurt in one form or another. We've all hurt others. I encourage you to be on the lookout for opportunities to pray for the fellow human beings God places in your path each day.

" . . . for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23)

Note: Abusers need prayer, healing, and professional accountability. Abused children need prayer, healing, and SAFETY.

CHILD help NATIONAL ABUSE HOTLINE

1-800-4-A-CHILD is dedicated to the prevention of child abuse.

Are you standing before a door of opportunity? Praying it will open? Ask God for what you want. Yield to His will for you. If His answer is no, thank Him. He has your best interest at heart. And if He wills for a door to open, but man blocks the way; no worries, you can trust God to move on your behalf.

"It's better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man." (Psalm 117:8 NKJV)

It got me thinking about the times I've lied. I lied because I was afraid. Afraid of what others would think of me if I told the truth. Afraid of what I would think of me if I told the truth.

This is why it's so important to tell God everything. He's bigger than what others think of me. He's bigger than what I think of myself.

1 John 4: 18 tells us that perfect love casts out fear. When I tell God everything, His very presence cleanses my perspective and drives out fear. He makes it safe to tell the truth. He preserves my dignity and gives me the grace to face an ugly truth about me--and you.

Have you been lied to recently? Have you lied recently? Before you judge, prayerfully consider, what were they afraid of? What were you afraid of?

Perfect love casts out fear. When we're unafraid, we're free to tell the truth.

I'm Mom to three sons and Wife to one very outdoorsy husband. We're a tough clan. Unless there's blood, fire, or vomit, we don't get too excited over routine bumps and bruises. I also have a thirteen year-old niece, who I'm proud to say is very athletic. However, when she was younger, she was, how shall I say this . . . whiny. Little bumps preceded BIG DRAMA. Granny and Mommy rushed to her side with the bunny faced ice pack (a.k.a. Boo-Boo Bunny) and waited for her to take her last breath.

Our little darling never attempted such dramatics with her aunt unless she could answer yes to two questions. Are you bleeding? Are you unable to walk? Should you find me insensitive, I'll defend myself. If she'd answered, "yes," to either question I would have provided full medical attention, a colorful band-aid of her choice, and ice cream as she watched a Disney movie while lying in a cloud of pillows on my bed.

Now if earthly parents (some more than others) can discern between a legitimate reason to whine, you better believe our heavenly Father can. But, before we can answer the question, am I wounded or merely whining over an offense, we must first review the difference between the two. There is a difference.

Wound- 1. An injury, especially one in which the skin or another external surface is torn, pierced, cut, or otherwise broken.

2. An injury to the feelings.

Offense- 1. The act of causing anger, resentment, displeasure, or affront.

2. The state of being offended.

ref. www.answer.com/topic/wound
        www.answer.com/topic/offense

There's no mention of feelings in the definition of offense. Offenses are associated with our attitudes and judgements toward another's behavior. Wounds, whether emotional or physical, occur when something from the outside harms us on the inside. Wounds and offenses are defined differently, and therefore, should be addressed differently. Take a deep breath if your heart has been "torn, pierced, cut, or otherwise broken," and receive validation. Your inability to forgive is most likely not rooted in spiritual immaturity or disobedience.

The reason why so many teachings/sermons on the topic of forgiveness are frustrating (even painful) for the wounded, is because they're tailored to address the offended--the whiners. And truthfully, you're probably a whiner if you're ready to spit nails over your lack of control over people who've only hurt your pride. If you're a whiner, with all the love in my heart, I must suggest: It's time to put your big-girl panties on and ask God to humble you under His mighty hand. My own stubborn pride is brought under submission each time I begin to hand-write every scripture that includes the words pride and humility. It's amazing how fast my perspective changes. I've yet to complete this assignment.

But if you're bleeding and you can't walk . . . Oh, daughter of a more loving Father than any of us can imagine. He wants to scoop you up in His arms. He wants to heal you, proclaim liberty over the condemning thoughts that hold you captive, and release you from the prison of "I can't forgive." But you'll have to pony up that glass slipper, that last shred of of a time when you felt beautiful--before your true identity was stolen, and commune with the One who holds the other slipper. You can live your whole life with a faint memory of the ball or receive royal status and live in the kingdom. The choice is yours.

So, how about it? Are you ready to receive full medical attention? Then it's time to stop asking the Great Physician to take the pain away, while neglecting to tell Him where it hurts, why it hurts, and whether or not you self-medicate. If you had a broken leg, you wouldn't hobble to a doctor and expect him to prescribe something for pain relief without first allowing him to set the broken bone so it can heal. [end of excerpt]

I hope this got you thinking. Are you wounded or offended? Did you know there's a difference between the two? Are you willing to confess your wound or offense to God and position yourself to receive healing?

If your heart is broken--it matters to God.

"They have also healed the hurt of My people slightly, Saying, 'Peace, peace!' When there is no peace." (Jeremiah 6:14)

"For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds," Says the Lord. (Jeremiah 30:17)

Isaiah 61: . . . He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.

Do you offer excuses when you mess up? I try very hard not to, BUT . . . (See what I mean.) It's human nature to side-step personal accountability. Especially in the area of apologies.

Today, we examine the difference between an authentic apology verses an "I'm sorry, but . . ." apology. As a child, I was an avid watcher of Sesame Street. One of my favorite games was One of these things is not like the other, which one could it be?

Let's play.

1.  I'm sorry I hurt you, but I had a bad day, and  . . .
2. I apologize. It was selfish of me. Will you forgive me? How can I make it right between us?
3. I'm sorry, but you make me so angry!
4. I'm sorry, but I didn't get enough sleep last night, and I'm really stressed out. You know how much stress I've been under lately.

Authentic apology makes no excuses. Period. Even if there's partially a good reason for whatever you've done. It's not: I'm sorry I was late. The traffic was terrible. Or the morning was stressful. Your supervisor at work doesn't care. Try it. The next time your late, just apologize for being late. If you're late for a meeting, say, "I aplogize for being late. I know your time is valuable." You'll be amazed at the grace people will extend when you walk in humility. Give them a chance to ask why. And if they don't ask why. Don't say another word about it.

It's hard to do. It's hard to do because it's humbling. But humility is the springboard for healing. For years, I didn't connect the dots. But it's clear to me now: When I practice humility, I die to self and mature spiritually. As I mature spiritually, I gain the ability to trust God, with me--and you. This brings about a level of sound mind that I'm not convinced we receive any other way.

So if you mess up, fess up. Apologize. No excuses. If there's an action or behavior you need to confess, confess with no excuses.

When you mess up, fess up.

Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord,
And He will lift you up. (James 4:10)

A man has joy by the answer of his mouth,
And a word spoken in due season, how good it is!
(Proverbs 15:23)

I don't blog to write. (That's what journals are for.) I blog with you in mind. I take time to ask God what He would have me say. No matter the topic, Truth is my guide.

Yesterday, my to-do list exceeded my work-day. At 11:30 last night, I attempted to blog, but Grace said, "Go to bed." So I went to bed.

I believe in doing what I say I'm going to do. If I say I blog Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, then I better do it. Integrity is a good thing. But integrity apart from Grace . . . well, that's exhausting. I don't know about you, but when I cross the threshold of exhaustion, I can't string two words together.

I'm rambling. Now would be a good time to write something that relates to the title of this blog.

This morning I woke, very grateful that God is real AND He likes me. I didn't always believe God likes me. Even after I'd come to believe that He loves me. If you have a family member that you love--but don't like, then you know what I mean. I used to believe I was a child God loved but didn't like.

The fact that He's happy to converse with me in the mornings, before I've brushed my teeth, amazes me. What about you? Do you believe God likes you? Why or why not?

Will you share your answer with Him today? You don't need a breath mint to talk to God.

Sheri Rose Shepherd, the key note speaker at a conference I recently attended, posed two questions in regards to conflict-resolution in relationships:

1. What can I do to repair it, not prove my point?

2. As far as it depends on me, how can I bring peace?

Good questions.

We cannot control another person's behavior. We can however, as they say in twelve step programs, "Keep our side of the street clean." I've learned over the years that when I resolve to remain calm in an emotional circumstance, God offers a solution. When I react from emotion, it always goes from bad to worse. Always.

Are you at odds with someone you love? In light of the following scriptures, how would you answer those questions?

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

Peace makers sow seeds of righteousness. (James 3:18)

Mercy triumphs over judgement. (James 2:13) 

It serves as a gauge for how we're doing and where we need improvement/healing. Ask with a humble heart and be open to the answers your given. Don't be quick to accept or reject feedback. Instead, take time to prayerfully consider the information your given. Spend time alone with God. Listen. Learn.

Humility is the springboard for healing.

Oh my gosh! I hadn't thought of that until just yesterday. No matter how pleasant I am during the day, the truth about me will be exposed roughly around 2:00 AM. What's a girl to do?

Dear God, please don't let me snore tonight. Maybe. But God has a sense of humor, so I won't hold my breath on that one. Do I tell them in advance? Give them a pillow to throw at me if I wake them?

All I can do is show up and just be me. I'm friendly. I snore. I have a sense of humor and hope they do, too. One thing is certain, we all come together to glorify God.

But please, God, don't let me snore.

A mighty wind
Blew night and day
It stole the oak tree's leaves
away,

Then snapped its boughs
And pulled its bark
Until the oak was tired and stark.

But still the oak tree held its ground
While other trees fell all around.
The weary wind gave up and spoke,
How can you still be standing oak?

The oak tree said, I know that you
can break each branch of mine in two,
Carry every leaf away,
Shake my limbs and make me sway,

But I have roots stretched in the earth,
Growing stronger since my birth,
You'll never touch them, for you see,
They are the deepest part of me.

Until today, I wasn't sure
Of just how much I could endure.
But now I've found, with thanks to you,
I'm stronger than I ever knew.

--Johnny Ray Ryder, Jr.

" . . . That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified." (Isaiah 61:3)

"Zachary," I said. "I don't think that's a good idea. The staples probably won't hold your cape together as you fight crime." 

"Don't worry Mom. I know exactly what I'm doing. Okay, maybe not exactly, but I do know what I'm doing."

It got me thinking. (Well, first it got me laughing.) How often do I share this line of thinking in my "grown up" life. I get an idea, the idea becomes a decision, and then I operate off of my decision, even if God says, "I don't think that's best for you, Wendy."

By the grace of God, I don't learn the hard way as often as I used to, but I'm human. It happens on occasion.  

How are we to really know if we know what we're doing? Simple. Spend time with God and listen. To the best of our ability, we sincerely do what we believe He's asking us to do. We remain in close contact with the One who knows best, and continually ask for His wisdom as we go along. 

And when (not if) we stumble, we run to our Father, place our shredded hand-made capes in His hands, then go battle injustice in His strength.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV)   

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise. (Proverbs 12:15)

When interviewing potential team leaders, Dave always ask what they're reading--"leaders should always be growing." If they answer: The Bible.

He replies: That's great! It's a good interview answer. What else are you reading?

If they respond: The Bible contains all the information I'll ever need.

He half-jokingly says: Get out of my office. [end of example in video]

Why would Dave Ramsey, a Christian man, say this? Because he's also a business man (a successful one at that). He teaches leaders to take in business information, ingest it, then run it through the paradigm of their faith. I get this. I read my Bible, but I also read books on communication, leadership, and marketing.

He got me thinking. This applies to business AND personal  healing. In 2003, I attended secular (non-Christian) therapy for almost a year. During the course of this time, I learned practical steps for a variety of everyday circumstances. Steps that were not taught in my church programs or later, in Christian counseling.

Most of what I learned didn't conflict with my faith. If it did, I discarded it. The living Word of God empowered me to show up for my life each day and apply what I'd learned in therapy. Apart from Christ; apart from the Bible, I could not have healed. But without the practical tools I learned in secular therapy, I couldn't have coped/functioned throughout my healing process.

Jesus sees the depths of the heart AND the demands of the day. Healing a broken heart may be a spiritual matter, but going to work each day, caring for small children, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping . . . well, that's "business" as usual. It seems to me, a great deal of counseling speaks to one or the other, but not both. I needed both to heal.

Are you in a Twelve-Step/Recovery program, counseling, or therapy? Consider Dave Ramsey's suggestion: Take in the information, ingest it, and run it through your paradigm of faith.

Always be growing.

To watch the video I referenced:

1. www.daveramsey.com
2. click See Dave LIVE!
3. click Dallas, TX
4. click Free Lesson

I ask myself this question because I stand before a great door of opportunity. An opportunity that will require me to be more intentional with my time. In other words, for my life to become "bigger," it must first become "smaller." Writing and preparing to speak doesn't always allow me to take calls or respond to text messages the moment I receive them. Working from home takes incredible discipline. It's weird--I'm home, but I'm not home.

I prayerfully prioritize my life to make room for something new. I'm overwhelmed--my life is full. I think of Alice in Wonderland.I know what I must do . . . "shrink." I must say goodbye to some things (good things) in order to make room for new opportunity. I must also say goodbye to ideas, attitudes, and/or resentments that hinder new life. At times, it feels impossible.

[Alice towers over the door she desires to enter.]

Alice: "I simply must get through."

Doorknob: "Sorry, you're too big. Simply impassible."

Alice: "You mean impossible."

Doorknob: "No, impassible. Nothings impossible."

[Alice eats a special cake that causes her to shrink. Then she walks through the doorway.]

"No one puts a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment; for the patch pulls away from the garment, and the tear is made worse. Nor do they put new wine into old wineskins, or else the wineskins break, the wine is spilled, and the wineskins are ruined. But they put new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved." (Matthew 9:16-17 NKJV) 

Question: Are you praying for a door of opportunity to open? If your pray is answered, are you ready to receive? Is there room in your life for new life?

While flooded with anger and sadness, I realized over the course of a week, that I was still angry and grief stricken over something I'd experienced almost four years ago. Up until Honey's death, I had no idea a deeper measure of healing awaited me. I believed the incident to be reconciled in Christ. And much of it was--just not all of it.

Jesus knew better. Jesus knows better. He sees into the depths of my heart. So He used a painful experience to expand the freedom in my heart. It isn't easy. It hurts to tell the truth about how badly something hurts. But tears coupled with confession are a powerful combination.

I know my sorrow is temporary. I know Honey's death is not in vain. I've always believed that pets are angels.

Sorrow is better than laughter,
for by a sad countenance
The heart is made better.
(Ecclesiastes 7:3 NKJV) 

I am feeble and severely broken;
I groan because of the turmoil
of my heart.
(Psalm 38:8 NKJV)

He who covers his sins will not prosper,
But whoever confesses
and forsakes them will have mercy.
(Proverbs 28:13 NKJV)

--Tom Clancy
Interview on Larry King (as referenced on wikiquote.com)

I've learned not to swing at every memory that's hurled my way. Instead, I invite Christ into the center of the memory. I allow Him to embrace me. In a quiet place, I allow myself to feel whatever I need to feel, at the feet of Peace. Then I thank Him for expanding the territory in my heart.

The unfailing love of God will forever drive the pain out of my heart, replace the ashes with His beauty, and bring blessings that will be received and remembered with great joy.

When painful memories strike, they no longer defeat me. God drives them out and provides an opportunity for me to declare His sovereignty over the pain. I win.

How do you respond to painful memories? Do you suppress them with noise or busyness? Will you consider that they represent an opporutnity to overcome the very things that cause you to feel powerless?

Take action:

1. Pray- "Holy Spirit, I invite You into the center of my pain. You are welcome in this place."
2. Proclaim- "God, You are sovereign over my pain, and I trust You. Thank You for cleansing my heart."
3. Pray a scripture- The Lord is my strength and my shield. My heart trusted in Him and I am helped. Therefore, my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song, I will praise Him. (Psalm 28:7 NKJV)
4. Speak the word of God aloud- "When the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will lift a standard against him." (Isaiah 59:19 NKJV)

If you missed the last daily dose, it's a quick read. I encourage you to take a look. You've Done Everything You Know to Do. Now What?

Here's how this looked at a time in my life, best described as a desperate haze of pain and confusion:

I was a single mother, raising a six-month-old baby and two young children. And I lacked the wholeness needed to give them the lifestyle they richly deserved. I'm not talking "designer clothes." I mean a steady, healthy upbringing. I loved my children with all my heart, but it didn't change the fact that we lived in a chaotic environment.

I did the best I could to heal as quickly as possible, knowing my broken heart affected my children. I worked my twelve-step program. I went to work. I ran the household.I remained open to my sponsor, who consistently instructed me to take responsibility for my own actions and not judge everyone else for theirs. But it only took me so far.

In the end, it was the unfailing love and power of God that brought me to the shoreline of healing and freedom.

Looking back, I can see that every time I did my part, God did His. I couldn't always identify what He did for me back then, but He remained busy on my behalf. Sometimes my part was simply to cry out to Him. "Help me God. I don't know what to do next."

Over the years I've learned to trust God with what I can do--and with what I cannot. In both instances, it is He who brings my distant hopes to shoreline of fruition.

Are you doing what you can do? Thank Him for the ability.

Not sure what to do? Ask Him for direction.

Are you trusting Him with what you cannot do? Welcome His provision, expect to receive it, and thank Him in advance for His faithfulness.

And lastly, detach from the outcome.

If you've done everything you know to do . . . stand.

"Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today . . . The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace." (Exodus 14:13-14 NKJV)

We were encouraged to allow thirty days for preparation. I did what I always do. I prayed. I waited to hear from God. I wrote a few ideas down, but it didn't come together like I'd expected.

Every attempt was met with opposition. I arrived at the conference with a few undeveloped topics. By mid-afternoon of the day of speaker evaluations, my lap-top was frozen, leaving me less than two hours to write something--anything. The tears I'd so dilligently held back could no longer be contained. I fled into the prayer room, got on my knees, and wept over my impending humiliation. God, I've sincerely tried to prepare for this class, but I'm not ready. I have nothing. If You don't put Your words in my mouth, I won't have anything to say.

Having done all I could, I took the weight of my need and placed it in God's hands. Then I went to class. We spoke by order of volunteer. When I couldn't put it off any longer, I approached the podium, where I placed my humble piece of paper with hand-written sentences. Breath. Open your mouth and start talking, you only have five minutes.

I spoke for four minutes and forty-two seconds.

Class came to a close and our group leader said, "Ladies, I'm so proud of you! Every year we have a few women who think they can just show up and wing it. Thank you for preparing."

Very funny, God.

This is what she wrote on my evaluation: "Beautiful! Thank you, Wendy. I truly believe God is anointing you to reach out to women in a very real way, and lead them to healing and the Healer."

That is the power of God. It would've been irresponsible of me to neglect preparations. I did my best, but in the end it wasn't enough. God faithfully blessed my willingness to prepare and trust Him when my best efforts fell short.

In the end, the power of God brought me successfully to the shoreline. Truth that applies to "practice teachings" and real life circumstances. 

This Friday: Practical application to real life circumstances.

Question: Is there something you're responsible for that you've left undone?

Take action: Do your part and God will do His.

I didn't know how to separate myself from the pending disappointments that faithfully accompanied special occasions. So I developed a habit of "bracing myself" for sudden impact. A pattern of behavior that took years to overcome.

In the beginning, the boundaries I set were physical: "I will not spend time with you if you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol."

This boundary, like all boundaries, was put to the test. It's heartbreaking to tell a loved one who's been invited for dinner, that they cannot come inside because of the condition they've shown up in, but I've done it. "I love you. I want to spend time with you--when you're you. I look forward to seeing you when you're sober. Bye for now."

But that's just geography. The territory between my ears was the most challenging to take back. A challenge that required the setting of boundaries for my own behavior. For example, regardless of how much it hurt to have one less dinner guest, dinner was still on the table, and ready to be eaten and enjoyed by others.

So that's what I did. I prayed for the loved one I'd sent away (temporarily and honorably), I prayed for myself, then continued with my plans--in spite of the desire to retreat to my bedroom and cry. I yielded to life, (which always went on, whether I wanted it to or not).

I prayed. I yielded. I prayed. I yielded. And finally, it happened--I changed. I was different on the inside, which brought about change on the outside. I was free!

The boundaries I set, though painful to maintain in the beginning, heightened my ability to hear from God, who faithfully gave me the grace to continue in the trajectory needed to bring about lasting change in my family.

My freedom paved the way to my loved ones freedom. I couldn't walk it for him--an outcome from which I had to detach, as I kept my eyes on God and my own need for healing.

Are you tired of Addiction crashing special occasions?
Weary from worrying about what will happen to your loved one if you change the rules of interaction? Pray, yield to life, set and maintain healthy boundaries, and one day you will experience a shift. A shift that began with you praying, yielding to God, AND taking action.

Additional Resources: Is this blog for you? (category selection: Setting Boundaries)

I'm praying for you and your loved one today. Celebrate the freedom that awaits you and your family and thank God for the progress you've made.

Life is full of challenges for those of us who desire freedom from dysfunctional lifestyles. Add a dysfunctional partner to the mix and life goes from full to over-flowing with challenges. That was me and Michael years ago. Are you familiar with the television advertisement for necklaces that alert medics in case of an emergency? An elderly woman lies on the floor and presses a button: "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

A friend once used this commercial to describe my relationship with Michael.

"It's like you're both lying on the floor, and he's saying, Help! I can't get up!" And your saying, "Help! I can't get up either!" Then she laughed. (Because that's what friends are for.)

She was right, by the way. At the time, he took up so much space in my head I should have collected rent. What's a co-dependent girl to do? The logical thing to do would've been to separate myself from him, focus on God and my own healing, and detach from the outcome. Of course I didn't do that; I'll never run out of things to write about.

I, being the control freak that I was,  decided he and I would walk hand-in-hand, the road to recovery. I shared my "wisdom" along the way, and took constant inventory of his progress. We'd joined a twelve-step program. For me, the mental gymnastics went something like this: Did he call his sponsor today? Is he working the steps? Did he get to the meeting on time? Did he share at the meeting? Did he skip out early? Is he praying? . . .  Is he? Did he? . . . Is he? Did he?

A flood of thoughts only remain thoughts for so long--then the floodgates open, and the questions are voiced. These questions can only be voiced so many times before you find yourself with new questions. Where did he go? Why isn't he answering his phone? Is he using? Is he cheating? Is he dead or alive?

This isn't just for twelve-steppers. I know plenty of Christian women who constantly inventory their husband's relationship with God. Is he reading the bible? Is he praying? Is he really singing during worship or just moving his lips? Is he sincerely seeking God? Is he befriending Christian men? The time it takes for a man who's nagged about spiritual growth--to emotionally detach from his wife, can be clocked with an egg timer.

A wise woman once said, "Wendy, keep your eyes on God and your own life. That's enough to keep you busy. Let God worry about Michael."

I tried. I tried and failed. I tried and succeeded. For the first year, it was a mixture of failure and success. But I never gave up. I never stopped looking to God and yielding to what He had to say to me, about me. The longer I kept my eyes on my own life, the easier it was to let God worry about Michael. And it turns out, God was more concerned about Michael than I was. I learned to get out of His way and trust. It takes time, but the clock is gonna tick anyway. Let it tick while you seek God to the best of your ability, and yield to what He has to say to you, about you.

It's amazing how earthly relationships have a way of healing, once vertical relationship with God are reconciled in Christ.

Do you identify with my story? Which part? Where are you now? Co-dependent? Detached from outcomes? I encourage you to keep your eyes on God and your own life.

A continual dripping of a faucet and a nagging woman are alike (Proverbs 27:15).

--Gilda Radner
  June 28 1946--May 20, 1989

When I was in the sixth grade, I went skating every Saturday with my best friend, Shari, then we'd watch Saturday Night Live. (We also snuck her mother's car out at two o'clock in the morning, but that's another story.) Rosanne Rosannadanna, played by Gilda Radner, was my favorite character.

No matter what I'd endured throughout the week, Saturdays were reserved for laughter. Saturdays, life was normal. For years, I'd forgotten the reprive laughter brought to a turbulent childhood. As an adult, I'd stuffed my happy childhood memories in the same box that contained memories of abuse.

It wasn't until I faced my past, that I discovered joyful memories worth keeping. My childhood was painful a lot of the time, but not all of the time. Discovering good times aided me as I uncovered and healed from the bad.

When painful memories overwhelmed me, and I'd had all the reality I could stand, I watched Rosanne Rosannadanna skits on You Tube. Yes, I prayed. I went to therapy. But God's not a spoiled sport. Laughter is good medicine.

If you're facing a painful past and need a break from all the reality you can stand, call to memory the television skits that invoked laughter when you were a child. Watch them on You Tube. Perhaps you had a hobby that brought joy--take it up again.

Pray, cry . . . and don't forget to laugh.

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones (Proverbs 17:22).

[Lester Bangs to William Miller in the 2000 movie Almost Famous]

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Last Thursday, after a month of complications, post oral surgery, I woke in the middle of the night with little feeling in the back of my tongue. I'd already experienced a lessened ability to taste, but the numbness was over the top--it felt suffocating.

With every accelerated pound of my heart, Fear whispered, What if you have permanent damage? What if you never taste food again or regain the feeling in your tongue? You'll have to spend the rest of your life on anti-anxiety meds. You can't handle this. Look at you, you can't handle this. Where is your God?

Where is my God? How will I answer? I text a few friends who often wake in the night to pray, explain that I'm freaking out and in need of 9-1-1 prayers. They're up and on it. "Thank you, faithful friends." Next, I open my bible without looking inside, hold it to my heart, pace and pray, pace and pray. My yellow Lab, Hannah Banana, paces the floor with me, (though she can barely keep her sweet eyes open).

An hour later, I sit on the floor with Hannah asleep by my side. Peace is free-flowing. Perfect Love had cast out Fear. I glance up and read a scripture I have on display: Taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8).

I think of everything I've been through--abuse, betrayal, how God never left my side. In the midst of facing these heartbreaking circumstances, I'd discovered the goodness of God. I healed. Sure I have scars. I have painful memories from time to time, I may always, but those memories cannot dominate me. They cannot rob me of what I know about God and who I am in Christ. I live a victorious life. I've tasted the goodness of God. 

I realize in this moment, even if my ability to taste food is never fully restored, the enemy can never rob me of what I've learned about God and myself. I will always be able to "taste and see that the Lord is good." No matter what happens, I'll be okay. I will live boldly and victoriously in Christ, and I will continue to encourage others to do the same.

I yawn. What a gift. As I make my way back to bed, I glance inside my bible. The header at the top of the page reads: A New Song in My Mouth.

Yes, indeed. I have a new song in my mouth. I feel better the next day, I give God all the glory. I see my doctor for a follow-up and he prescribes steroids. I take them, they help, too. Again, I give God all the glory.

Have you tasted the goodness of God on a bad day?

"And my tongue shall speak of Your righteousness, And of Your praise all the day long" (Psalm 35:28).

When you approach Me in stillness and in trust, you are strengthened. You need a buffer zone of silence around you in order to focus on things that are unseen. Since I am invisible, you must not let your senses dominate your thinking. The curse of this age is over stimulation of the senses, which blocks out awareness of the unseen world.

The visible world still reflects My Glory, to those who have eyes that see and ears that hear. Spending time alone with Me is the best way to develop seeing eyes and hearing ears. The goal is to become aware of unseen things even as you live out your life in the visible world.

2 Corinthians 4:18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. [end of excerpt}

A Dose of Reality: This is a beautiful and true devotional. By the grace of God, my life today affords me the time and space to seek the Lord in stillness and in trust. But this wasn't always so. Sarah's devotional got me thinking about the women who don't have access to "buffer zones of silence in order to focus on things that are unseen."

Eleven years ago, I was a single mother with a six-month-old baby and two elementary school-aged boys. A buffer zone of silence was a luxury I could not afford. My husband and I were separated due to his battle with drug addiction, so there were no visitations--no breaks. I was overwhelmed by the reality of what my eyes saw and my ears heard each day.

I tried. I prayed in the bathroom until little hands knocked on the door. I attempted to meditate at night after I'd gotten the boys to bed, but my baby was a little insomniac. I can't tell you how many times I was interrupted in midstream of heart-felt prayer and quickly said, "Sorry God, I gotta go now!" I read when I could. What's important is that I sought God to the best of my ability and He honored my efforts.

He blessed my efforts. My very willingness had profound effects in the world unseen. It paved the way for my life today. Regardless of your circumstances, seek to the best of your ability and know that the love of God is unfailing.

Take Action: Ask God for a few moments of silence each day. If it comes, pray. If it doesn't, pray. It can be short: "God, give me the strength to get through this moment, hour, day, night."

Tape an encouraging scripture to the dash of your car. Speak it aloud each time you drive.

Play worship music while driving or listen to teaching tapes. Women in the midst of hardship must be resourceful and intentional. What you're going through won't last forever. What you learn about a loving God throughout trials, will.

I walked a mile with Sorrow;
And ne'er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,
When Sorrow walked with me.

ROBERT BROWNING HAMILTON

Bridle the tongue. Hmmm . . . easier said than done, that's for sure. I was one week post-oral-surgery and annoyed with my husband. It must have been really important because I don't remember what "ruffled my feathers." (But I like to think I was right and he was wrong.) Physically, it hurt to talk, but I was a trooper and pushed through the pain in an attempt to enlighten the light of my life. Again and again.

What can I say. I was tired and cranky. He was tired and cranky.

Am I painting a familiar picture?

Subsequently, I was rude, then he was rude, I was rude, then he was rude.

My husband, who frequently has more sense then I do when things are getting heated, wanted to "take a break." Which to me is guy-code for "please shut up now."

So of course I kept talking. I had no business talking, but never the less. And somewhere in the middle of "lets take a break" and my refusal to shut up, my jaw literally locked up from overuse. Pain successfully got my full attention, closed my mouth, and secretly high-fived my husband.

I spent the evening in silence--home-schooled by Pain. If I had known my words would bring about so much pain would I have spoken them?

That's when my faithful friend, Conviction, showed up.

It grieves Me when you're rude and argumentative. If you could feel the emotional impact caused by your words, you would consider them more carefully before speaking. (I'll let you connect the dots.)

Lesson Number 3:

Speak boldly, not badly.

Today's action for Lesson Number 3:

Take an inventory of your word choices today. Did they cause unnecessary pain? If yes, how could you have spoken boldly and not badly?

Lesson Number 2 was written on a morning I felt somewhat myself again after surgery. Little did I know I was about to spend the next several days in bed with a migraine headache. Have you ever suffered with a migraine?   

They're crazy painful. Even the sound of my own voice hurt. My husband attempted to watch the NBA finals with the volume muted and I whispered, "Babe, I can't handle the light coming from the television even with my eyes closed."

By day three, I felt a flush of panic when I realized I hadn't accomplished anything. I couldn't work, play, read . . . it hurt to smile. That's when it dawned on me that I was no longer complaining. Pain caused me to be conservative with my words. I'd rather whisper, "I love you" or "thank you," than talk about my circumstances.

I thought of the Savior--how He understood what would be accomplished through suffering. He welcomed it. Embraced it.  Could I?

Lesson Number 3: 

Complaining wastes time and depletes energy. It has no value.

Today's action for Lesson Number 3:

Ask someone you're close to (spouse, friend, co-worker) if you complain too much. If they say yes, ask for examples and then humbly consider what they tell you.

"God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." (James 3:6)

Note: If you're in pain today (physical or emotional), it's okay to tell someone. You should. But limit your time talking about it. The longer you complain, the further you take yourself from solutions. Conserve your energy for solutions, I love you , and thank you. 

From a Sermon by the Reb, 1958

"A little girl came home from school with a drawing she'd made in class. She danced into the kitchen, where her mother was preparing dinner.
" 'Mom, guess what?' she squeaked, waving the drawing.
"Her mother never looked up.
" 'What?' she said, tending to the pots.
" 'Guess what?' the child repeated, waving the drawing.
" 'What? the mother said, tending to the plates.
" 'Mom, you're not listening.'
" 'Sweetie, yes I am.'
" 'Mom,' the child said, 'you're not listening with your eyes.' " [end of excerpt]

Read the book. (I'm just sayin'.)  As I read this passage, I welcomed conviction when it knocked at the door of my heart. Holy Conviction, forever, my friend.

Later that day I read aloud to my son, Zachary. I'll never forget the look of validation that came over his sweet, freckled face. He smiled without saying a word.

"Zach," I said. I do that to you sometimes, don't I?"

"Yeah. Sometimes Dad does it, too."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the times I didn't listen with my eyes. Will you forgive me? And Zach, please feel free to remind me if I forget. Okay?"

"I forgive you. I'll tell you if you do it again."

"Good. I love you, Zach."

"Love you, too, Mom. Can I go now?"

(He's twelve. Moments like this, though spectacular, are short in duration at this age--much like fireworks on the 4th of July.)

Lesson Number 2:

LISTEN. My friend, James, (remember, I'm reading the book of James everyday) puts it like this:

"So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger."

Today's Action for Lesson Number 2:

Listen with your eyes. Be open, truly open, to what someone else (who, by the way is created in the likeness of God), has to share with you. AND THEN, ask questions that will require them to continue sharing who they are or what they're going through. For the love of God, don't forfeit a beautiful opportunity to continue listening with your eyes because you've just discovered how their story relates to you. Which leads us back to Lesson #1: It's not about me.

I'm also still reading the book of James each day. My original instruction from God was to read it every day for 40 days, but the times I've read it now run together and I've lost count. It's just like the Word to do that--to diminish my ability to keep score and draw boundary lines that measure my obedience (God help me), to pierce me--with the most loving intentions, and empty me of me and fill me with more of Him.

Lesson number 1: "It's not about me."

Today is Memorial Day. This day commemorates U.S. Service Members who died while in the military service. First enacted by formerly enslaved African-Americans to honor Union Soldiers of the American Civil War--it was extended after World War I to honor Americans who have died in all wars. (wikipedia.org)

So, today lets give honor where honor is due. Take with me, time today, to quietly thank God for all the men and women who've put their lives on the line for us in ways we cannot imagine, for reasons we are often too selfish to attempt to understand. I feel a flash of shame for all the years I've simply been grateful for the day off, rather than grateful for the ones who gave their lives for their convictions and the protection of others.

Today's action for lesson #1:

Remember the honorable deeds of others. Remember them. Say, "Thank you." And then speak blessing into the families they've left behind. While my son misses school today, another's son is missing a loved one. 

I'd asked God to heal me; eliminating the need for surgery, unless there was something that could only be accomplished in my Spirit through this experience. So now I'm left with the probability that there is something to be gained from all of this, other than just the strength to resume physical activity. (Which is a nice way of saying I am lacking in an area that needs to be filled with God.)

In all circumstances, there are lessons to be learned. The people who enter our lives each day are there to teach us something about ourselves. Are we too needy or critical? Are we difficult to get a long with or perhaps, too passive? 

One thing I've learned so far is that life has a way of shifting today's plans to another day. It bothers me when things come up and I'm unable to update this website when I've committed to it. Yesterday, aside from having no business getting out of bed, I was determined to update the daily dose when life updated me with its own daily dose of "you have no control over the power going out in your home office. "

It's part of life. What part of life frustrates you the most at the moment? Let's take a deep breath together and remember who IS in control and it's not you or me.

God is in control.

I encourage you to take advantage of today's circumstances and the people in your life and then use your eyes to look within. You cannot control your circumstances. You cannot control people. But you can humbly kneel before the One who is in control, remain teachable, and soon you won't feel so powerless. His power will flow through you, and renew your strength.  

But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint (Isaiah 40:31 NKJV).

The most encouraging thing I can think to say is, "This too, shall pass." (An old twelve-step phrase that used to annoy me.) It's true, though. Soon, the swelling in my mouth will disipate. The pain will subside. Meanwhile, I wait to feel better. Are you waiting to feel better from something? Like me, do what you can do (in my case, take my meds, rest, and use ice) and then wait.

What action can you take to help your situation? (Improve not manipulate.) What must you wait on the Lord for?

But off to work I went. Without my quiet time with God, without updating this page (which is supposed to updated daily). Without the desire to do anything but crawl back into bed and place the blankets over my head. The good news is, it had nothing to do with past abuse. For that, I'm truly grateful.

When was the last time you had a day like this? They're never easy. But true to His word, by mid-morning I felt the peace that comes from knowing God's grace is sufficient. By the end of the day, I'd completed my shift, taken the dog to the vet, picked up something for dinner, and just as I was about to collapse, I received a text from a friend who leads a women's support group each month. "I hope you're on your way."

Oh no. . . . I called my friend immediately. I'd failed to fully update my calendar before I left town last week and missed the meeting. I felt terrible. "No worries," she said. "Someone else can lead group tonight."

I hung up the phone, full of disappointment in myself. I'd let down a group of women who mean so very much to me. What's a girl to do? Pray. Ask for forgiveness, receive forgiveness, learn from my mistakes, and try hard not repeat them. Also, I will handwrite notes of apology to each attendee.

If you're overwhelmed, whether it's from a hectic schedule, or too many hardships--and you've let someone down, don't beat yourself up. No one is perfect. Pray. Ask for forgiveness, learn from your mistakes, and guard against repeating those mistakes. 

Prayer: Father in heaven, cover our mistakes in mercy, direct our steps, and reveal your agenda for each day. Your grace is sufficient. In Jesus' name, Amen. 

Have a blessed day! I'm having oral surgery this morning. As I pray for personal healing, I pray, also, for any physical needs you may have.

Conviction compells us to apologize immediately when we miss the mark, and cheers us on in the process of "dying to self." Conviction is never condemning.

Conviction is an invitation to confession and forgiveness. It's Grace calling us over for a gentle "talking to" before releasing us to live boldly in who we are in Christ.

Have an amazing day. I encourage you to read the book of James. (It's not long.) Highlight the verses that jump off the page, then ask God if there's something He wants to wash out of your heart.

Before I left town, I asked you to imagine your life--transformed, and then think of the message of hope it will one day offer others. Now don't leave if your life happens to be falling spectacularly apart. I know that scenario well. But I also know that when my life showed no signs of improvement, redemption was at hand.

If I hadn't experienced a multitude of hardship, I couldn't offer hope to you today. And I believe that expressing God's concern for what YOU are going through today, makes what I went through "yesterday"--worth it.

Here's something to consider: Twelve years ago, I could only be described as a broken, co-dependent, crazy (okay, it's not a politically correct description--but trust me . . . crazy), woman, with no hope in sight. 

And yet, last week I sat before literary agents and pitched a non-fiction book project. How could I have known that the very things I hated about my life would one day be transformed by God into a message of hope. (By the way, the meetings went very well!)

Regardless of your circumstances, make a statement of faith. It can be as simple as: I believe God will heal me. Imagine where you want to be in life. Write it down. Date it. And remember, it's an "inside job" between you and God. And when it's time; when you're ready, you will see beautiful change on the outside. Believe. 

Meanwhile, you remain in my prayers. If you think about it, please say one for me, too. I'll be pitching a non-fiction project to literary agents. I'm humbled by how far God has brought me over the years. Joyce Meyer always says God will take your mess and transform it into your message.

If your "mess" was transformed into a message to help others, what would it be? Think powerfully!

--Theodore Isaac Rubin

As I mature, I realize that my harshest critic is me. I'm learning to be kind to myself when I'm learning something new, to be merciful when I want so much to improve in an area of personal growth but then stumble. I find that the more gracious I am with myself, the more gracious I am with others. Today, give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself and others. We're all human, doing the best we can under the mighty hand of a God who can be trusted to transform our weaknesses.

When was the last time you were too hard on yourself or another? I encourage you to spend some time today with the God of second chances.

--Mary Tyler Moore

Your greatest weapon for the kingdom of God is your deepest wound-- fully submitted to Christ, who heals the broken-hearted and vindicates those who rely on Him.

I remember well, the days and nights I spent alone in my house as a single mother. My older sons visited their father every other weekend, which left me alone with a baby I'd had with a man who was too drug addicted to build a life with. There was nothing to do but listen to the clock on the wall tick. I hated that clock. I hated my life. With every tick it bantered: You have no life, you have no life.  

I realize now, that God saw the outcome. He orchestrated it. My husband is now clean and sober, we're a happy family. But that's not all God saw. He knew that one day I'd minister to women who'd fallen into despair over similar circumstances. He knew all along that my circumstances made me brave. I was in training for hope to be displayed through my life.

No matter where you are today. Don't despair. Call out to the God who creates good--out of everything that was intended for your harm. You are stronger than you know. Your life has purpose.

In the book of James, we are told what wisdom is and also what it isn't:

For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is from above [emphasis added] is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. (James 3:16-17 NKJV)

Do you have big decisions to make? Not sure what to do? Here, you have wise counsel that will not lead you astray. Sometimes wise choices take time to come to fruition. Immediate gradification often causes more harm in the long run. No matter your decision, if you follow this scripture, God will bless you for it. He delights in restoring the power of choice.

Prayer: Lord, I invite Your holy spirit into the places of my heart that are unyielding. Search my heart and strengthen my spirit as I willingly die to self. In Jesus' name, Amen.

He's growing up. He's supposed to. I want him to. I'm happy and I'm sad. It got me thinking about how I felt when my husband, Michael, got clean and sober. When God began to grow him on the inside, it brought about bitter-sweet changes on the outside. You see, as much as I hated his addiction, part of me needed his weaknesses to aid in the denial of my own. When he was weak, I felt strong. His sobriety made me happy and sad.

I don't know many co-dependents who'd admit this, but if you're willing to consider this unusual dynamic, it will bring value and healing to your own circumstances, should you be thick in the battle of co-dependency.

He'd been clean and sober for three-years when we were able to really embrace the sweetness of all the changes God had brought about in our hearts. Change takes time. Adjusting to change takes time. I'll tell you something really strange; my husband was more romantic on heroin then he is now. There were times (though I never told him this) that I missed the romance. See what I mean, bitter-sweet change.

Now I have a different outlook on romance. One of my favorite things to do is curl up next to my godly husband with a cup of hot tea and my favorite magazines as he yells at the Dallas Cowboys on his 52-inch HD television. (I'm trying to like football.) It no longer matters that he's not a candle-lighter or flower-bringer, he is strong, safe, and trustworthy.

We've both changed--for the better. You are changing--for the better. God has your best interest at heart. Confess to Him when that change feels bitter and thank Him for all that's sweet. Bitter is temporary. Sweet is forever.

Write a letter to God about a bitter-sweet change in your life or a loved one's. Truth always sets us free.

Walking uprightly before the Lord does not mean walking perfectly. It simply means to continue seeking Him. Show up for your life each day. Tell the truth. Humbly yield to Him, He has your best interest at heart. And when--not if, you wander off, (because we are all prone to wander), call out to Him. Follow His lead. Allow His love for you to manifest in one area of your life and it will have a domino effect.  

He is trustworthy and He loves you just as you are. Do you believe that? Why or why not?

Affirmation: I will spend some time alone with God today. He is my refuge and my strength.

I did what I always encourage you to do: I told God how I really felt about it. Truthfully, I was angry. So, yesterday instead of updating this page, I threw a fit and cried until I gave myself a headache. (I took a refresher course on how we really can tell God how we really feel.) I learned that it's still okay to be mad at God. He's still big. And He can still take it.

I pray my circumstances will change. I ask for a miracle. In spite of the pain, in less than two weeks I'll fly to one of the largest Christian Writers Conferences in the US. I've done my homework. Im ready, though I wish the conditions were better. I can't quit. I won't quit. And I can't afford to feel sorry for myself any longer. I had my meltdown and now all that's left to do is put on a pair of cute shoes, take three Advil, and walk boldly into what I believe is my destiny.

How about you? Are you moving forward AND experiencing oppostion all at once? Don't give up five minutes before the miracle. Don't stop believing. Keep moving. I promise to do the same.

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God. (Psalm 42:11 NKJV)

Last night I had the honor of hearing a woman's confession that she can no longer put off facing her abusive past--that she's angry, scared, grief-stricken, and afraid her feelings will take over her life. I sat there, in awe of her bravery, humbled by her honesty.

I've been right were she is. It's so overwhelming. But through Christ AND with good counseling, she will overcome. Many Christians balk at that statement, but it's a belief born from personal experience. As I studied the Bible and fervently prayed to God for healing, I also obtained very practical coping skills for each day. God never left my side. God will never leave her side. God will never leave you.

It's Good Friday. Holy week is coming to a close and Sunday we will celebrate the Risen Savior. I try to imagine how Christ must have felt just days before His crucifixion. The Bible says He was so troubled that He sweat blood. And still, He willingly chose to endure the pain to secure the hope that the pain we would endure in a fallen world would be temporary. Try as I might, I can't wrap my mind around it. My eyes fill with tears. Because of His work on the cross, I not only have eternal life, I am of sound mind after years of abuse. My Risen Savior--is my Healer.

I believe that all of heaven cheered over last night's confession. Her confession broke through the darkness. Now it's a matter of allowing the Healer to reveal what He knows she must see in the light in order to walk freely from all that once hid in the dark. From this day forward, not a single tear will be shed in vain. She will reap joy in due time.

"Behold, the former things have come to pass, And new things I declare, Before they spring forth I tell you of them." (Isaiah 42: 9 NKJV)

1. I'm grateful. Grateful to God for my husband, who takes great care of me when I'm in pain.
2. I'm grateful that although we do not have medical insurance, we do have a savings account to borrow from. We'll simply pay ourselves back.
3. I'm grateful that we are disciplined enough with our money to save and pay back what we must borrow.
4. I'm especially grateful that my son's hand took the brick and not his head. He'd placed his hand over his head to protect himself when his friend threw it. (It was nothing mean-spirited, just three adventurous boys with an impaired ability to think reasonably.)
   
   
5. I'm grateful that I no longer freak out over money. God is the Source of my income; the channels change frequently.
   
6. I'm grateful to be prepared for my writer's conference. I believe God is blessing the work of my hands. I don't care how much pain I'm in, I'm stepping into what I believe to be my destiny and nothing the enemy throws at me can stop me.
7. Life experiences = blog topics. No writer's block for me! :)

Gratitude .. . a light that shatters darkness. I will focus on the positive. The negative aspects of my circumstances have not changed. They are factual and not imagined, but I am determined to counter them with positive facts.

Positive and negative are directions. Which direction will you choose today? 

This just in: I can't fly on an airplane within days of either, which leaves me in a jam. I'm flying to North Carolina for a writer's conference the 9th of May. Hmmm. No matter how I look at it, there are no easy answers. No painless answers.

In the midst of my tooth-drama, my youngest son, Zach, broke his thumb in two places while playing with friends. Tomorrow we see an Orthopedic surgeon and pray he won't need surgery. Hmmm. Another unfortunate and stressful scenario.

What's a girl to do? Truthfully, I pray and at times, cry. I've spent the last year preparing a book proposal and sample chapters for this writers conference. I'll be pitching literary agents on my non-fiction project: HOW TO FORGIVE WHAT YOU'LL NEVER FORGET. But how can I effectively do that in pain or on pain meds? Either way, it's a challenge. Sometimes life is messy. Sometimes it just is what it is. But God does not shrink back from our messy, it-is-what-it-is lives.

This morning, I opened my Bible and saw something I'd highlighted years ago: . . . When the enemy comes in like a flood, The Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him. (Isaiah 59:19)

Prayer: Lord, I ask in the name of Jesus, lift up a standard against the flood of challenges I now face and also against the challenges my readers face. Regardless of our circumstances, You are faithful. Open our eyes to gain a new perspective. Open our ears to hear Your gentle instruction. Be our guide, our refuge, our strength. "This too shall pass." 

I have a friend who faithfully schedules these appointments. It doesn't come as easy for me. As a child, I didn't have regular check-ups, and its carried over into adulthood. Yesterday's appointments kicked off the breaking of the generational neglect of annual and semi-annual check-ups.

Today's daily dose ties in with my blog, so I encourage you to read it, too. Together, they show the progression of healing. For several years now, I've taken good care of myself. I eat healthy foods, drink water, exercise regularly, get plenty of rest, and love God with all my heart. But I neglected well exams.

God, who draws us with cords of loving-kindness, will always lead us to places where that loving-kindness can be expressed. In other words, as the depth of His love continually pours into us, it must also pour over and out; expressed in the way we treat ourselves and others.

When is the last time you went to the dentist for a check-up? Are you overdue for a well-woman exam? These things are important to Jesus because YOU are important to Jesus.

Today's update is short and sweet. It's actually Sunday night. I'm writing now because tomorrow I have an early doctor's appointment and then it's back to the dentist . . . I'm having terrible nerve pain. My husband is on his way home from the emergency room with our youngest son. Zach fractured his thumb in two places (being a boy with two other boys)--something that involves being somewhere you're not supposed to be, a fort, and the throwing of bricks.

Just one of those days. Life keeps happening. It's a blessed life, though. There's no question about that. Today is Palm Sunday. I imagine Jesus arriving in town, gentle, and riding on a donkey. "Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord."

The thought of that drives away the shadows of today. He is my Light.

Holly is the founder of Hidden Voices Ministry. She empowers women to find their true voice and speak their testimonies. She currently leads a speaking group in her church.

Holly's heart's desire is to help other churches discover the hidden voices in their congregations, to further impact the lives of others through shared testimonies. For more information, please visit www.hiddenvoicesministry.org.

Revelation 12:10-11 says that we overcome the enemy through Christ and the word of our testimonies. We all have a voice.

There's a scene in the movie when Bethany tells her father that she wants to surf again. "It won't be easy." He says.

"I don't need easy. I just need possible."

April is National Child Abuse Prevention and Sexual Assault Awareness Month. If you're a survivor. You CAN heal. It won't be easy, but it is possible. If you're feeling defeated by painful memories, remember, you are not defeated. Christ died and rose again to overcome the world. In His strength, we can overcome. His work on the cross secured hope for us in a world full of unexplainable tragedies.

Google Bethany Hamilton if you get a chance. God is using her to inspire people around the world. When asked if she had it to do over again, would she have gone into the water that day, she responded, "I've already embraced more people with one arm than I ever could have with two."

Wow--Just look what God can do!

For this event, women and their teenage daughters attend. We closed with a song that begins with the lyrics:

Arise, shine;
For your light has come!
And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you.

I immediately got tears in my eyes. It's a familiar scripture to me: Isaiah 60:1. My husband presented it to me in 2007; a season when I wondered when light would break through my dark circumstances. It's highlighted in my bible. I read it often. How sweet of the Lord to bring it around again, at a time when I wasn't even thinking about it!

Do you have a bible verse that you cling to, trusting that it will manifest in your circumstances in due time? Hold on. Don't give up. Believe.

Or perhaps, today it's a message just for you and this will be the one you hold on to, never give up on, and believe will manifest in your circumstances.

Arise, shine;
For your light has come!
And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. (Isaiah 60:1)

Okay, it's 8:30 pm. What can I say, life kept happening today. Tonight's update will have to serve as tomorrow's as well. My son has strep throat.

This is an excerpt from a letter Kelly Minter, author of No Other God's printed in her Bible study. A friend of hers, who is a missionary wrote this and I love it!

"If it be any encouragement to you all, this is what I saw, especially in America: pain (deep, private, unanticipated, suffocating) met with stubborn hope (white-knuckled clinging to Him, rock-bottom conviction that His offer of Reconciliation is the only viable option, and a willingness to risk believing that Redemption is not only something that means we get to go to heaven, but something that He is passionate to carry out now, in specific situations, to make things show His brand of beauty--in which a healed relationship or person can reflect more glory than one who never knew brokenness.) [end of excerpt]

Ask God to reveal His brand of beauty in your circumstances. Ladies, my life is proof, Christ can create beauty from a breakdown. Bless you, today. Bless you, everyday.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NKJV)

Someone once told me that when a person's heart is truly ready to seek God, there is nothing you can say to deter them. And if they aren't ready, there is nothing you can say to persuade them.

My message for you today is: Seekers Find. Years ago, I began seeking in a Beth Moore Bible study called Breaking Free. I didn't want to be in a group study, so I completed it alone at my kitchen table. I was willing to learn about the Bible at a time in my life when I wasn't sure what I believed. The only thing I was convinced of was that I couldn't continue my life if nothing changed. I needed God to show up and literally rescue me.

It was a ten-week study. About half-way through, all my seeking came to fruition. I prayed to Jesus. I spoke the truth about my  life, and He revealed the truth about Him. I've never been the same.

Are you ready to seek Him? Why or why not?

"Until your image of the Father is redeemed, you will never be able to make the changes in your life that you are desperate to make. If you are struggling with being too judgemental, you will have to discover the merciful Father in heaven before you will be free to be merciful to yourself. If you are struggling to find joy in your life, you will have to discover the laughter from heaven before you will be able to smile again. And if you are struggling to find hope for a life that appears stuck, you will first have to see a God who has a future filled with hope before you will find the hopeful future. That is because the problems you find in your life are directly related to problems in your image of the heavenly Father.

Until you find the truth about God, you will never find the truth about yourself." [end excerpt]

I couldn't agree more. Seekers find. Today, I encourage you to take an inventory of how you experienced your earthly father. Was he loving, supportive, trustworthy? Or was he abusive, impatient, controlling, and critical? Ask God for eyes to see how your negative experiences are projected onto your image of Him. And then ask Him to give you new eyes to see the heavenly Father's unfailing love for you.

For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. The you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NKJV)

I have promised many blessings to those who wait on Me: renewed strength, living about one's circumstances, resurgence of hope, awareness of My continual Presence. Waiting on Me enables you to glorify Me by living in deep dependence on Me, ready to do My will. It also helps you to enjoy Me; in My Presence is fullness of Joy.

Isaiah 40:31 but those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint. [end devotional]

A prayer from Wendy: Lord, thank you for Sarah Young's devotional. Thank you for all the times you've renewed our strength. And Lord, thank You, also, for loving us even when we wonder off. When we don't wait. Can't wait. Wear ourselves out trying to force change. You are our stength and our salvation. Draw us closer to You. Open our eyes to see Your unfailing love for us and direct our steps. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Think of this scripture as a promise. I can't promise that if you speak it out loud today, that tonight you will sleep and that it will be sweet. But I can promise what God promises to all who determine to seek Him and trust Him with their pain: There will come a day that when you lie down, you will not be afraid, and yes, your sleep will be sweet. Don't give up five minutes before the miracle.

My prayer for you today: Lord, lead the broken-hearted to truth that will set them free. Cast out their fears with Your perfect love and give them rest. In Jesus' name, Amen.

I've personally experienced a multitude of painful circumstances. Some were so damaging (childhood sexaul abuse) that I once feared I would never heal. I've learned otherwise. I've learned that there is nothing man can do to me that I can not overcome in Christ. Simple--not easy. Not easy, because it took me a long time to open up to God and trust Him with my pain.

He never left my side. In fact, since the beginning of time, God has been on my side. He's on your side, too.

Prayer: Father in heaven, teach me to seek refuge in You. Give me the grace to open up to you. Grow my trust in You. I will overcome. I've been through a lot, but I can and will move past my painful past. Through Christ, all things are possible.

Practical tip: Do one fun thing for the kid in you today. It doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate. Swing at the park, eat an ice cream cone, or read a children's Bible story to your child. If you don't have kids, borrow someone else's!

Shedding is seasonal. And though I have moments when I grumble about the effort it takes to keep floating dog hair at bay, they are worth it. They are precious gifts from God. 

We, too, shed. When God begins a work in our hearts, it's almost never pretty. We become high maintenance. When our loved ones are in the midst of change--shedding destructive habits and behavior, they often become high maintenance. Take heart, it's seasonal.

Soon, life will feel lighter. So, commit to loving yourself and others during seasons of change. Focus on the joy each of you brings to one another and determine to be patient and kind.

Prayer: Lord, bind my heart wiith cords of Your lovingkindness. Give me the grace to be patient with myself and others during seasons of change. And thank You, for making all things new. In Jesus' name, Amen.

--Okay, I'm quoting myself!

This is no platitude. I won't leave you to wonder what this looks like in the physical realm. Show up. Spend time alone with God and make a point to tell Him who or what broke your heart. From there, tell Him how you feel about it. Tell Him how you feel about Him allowing it. If you're mad, say you're mad. It's okay to be mad at God. He's big and He can take it.

For how long? For as long as it takes. Confess your pain. Confess your thoughts. Confess your fears. Confess your heart's desires. Confess. Over and over.

And one day when you least expect it, the ability to forgive will manifest as non other than the miraculous sign and wonder that it is. Headaches and heartaches have a way of leaving us quietly, just as a gentle Healer would have it.

Prayer: Jesus, you are my great and only hope of healing and forgiveness. Gather up the fragments of my life. Unite my heart to seek refuge in You, and Lord, be gentle with me.

Midway, he joins in. Psalm 118:24. I encourage you to memorize it. Get into the habit of saying it out loud each morning. I'm thankful today that the fatigue I feel is from a happy spring break, but I remember when that same fatigue was the result of family dysfunction: late nights arguing or worrying; sometimes both.

I know it's hard. I know that initially it feels fake to proclaim Psalm 118:24 when all you want to do is crawl back into bed, but over time it nourishes the spirit as vitamins do the body.

If you're fatigued today, acknowledge that this is the day the Lord has made and ask Him to give you the grace to get moving and keep moving and be glad in it. Try. There is much grace for a willing heart. Bless you, today. 

See you soon. And remember, God is always with you.

I want you to know that I pray before I write. Today, I sensed God saying No means no. "No" is a powerful word. "No" is a great word. I immediately thought of a woman who once said, "Wendy, there's nothing spiritual about saying yes when you really mean no. (God, I love that woman.)

The same woman suggested that when asked to make a commitment on the spot, pause and say, "Let me take twenty-four hours to pray about that and I'll get back to you." (Genius.)

If you're exhausted and you've just been asked to volunteer your time and energy and you don't have it to give, just say, "I'm sorry, as much as I want to help, I just don't have the energy coupons. I have to reserve enough energy for my family" (Perfect.) I've never offended anyone with that answer. Women understand.

How about you? Does your "no" mean "no" or are you exhausted from saying "yes" when you really mean "no"?

Sometimes we feel alone. We wonder if our efforts are seen by God.

I remember feeling alone. Wondering if God saw me trying so hard, as my husband continued to relapse in his addiction. His last relapse was the most painful of them all. I knew I was destined to write for the purpose of giving others hope. How can I continue to write about healing if he continues to relapse? 

Together, we made an appointment to speak to a pastor. As we waited, the pastor's assistant chatted with us. She told us about a time in her life when everything she'd worked for fell apart before her very eyes. But it was her reaction to the crisis that changed me forever. She prayed. Not for a different set of circumstances. Not for a way out. She simply prayed Lord, I have faithfully been about Your business, now I ask You to be about mine.

I knew right then what I needed to do. What I needed to pray. And so when I got home, I prayed that prayer. I continued to do what God led me to do each day and I let go of the rest. I let go and let God, like never before. To date, my husband has not relapsed and God continues to restore the damage from addiction and past child abuse.

I learned a valuable lesson. When you've done all you can do, stand in faith. Trust that God has your back. Are you willing to believe that the glory of the Lord is your rear guard? You are not alone.

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand
And chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn
That kisses are contracts
And presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you
get to much.
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
That you really are strong.
And you really do have worth.
And you learn. And you learn.
With every goodbye you learn.

--Anonymous

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matthew 6:33)

Affirmation: Today, I will keep my eyes on my own life. I will be kind to myself. I will let God love me, and trust that He will fill the hole in my heart--the one I have unconsciously expected others to fill.

Thinking Differently is worth the time it takes to read. Read it slowly. Section by section and journal along the way. I must sound like a broken record, but I cannot stress enough, how crucial time alone with God is when you're healing. Yes, seek counseling. Yes, read books by others who have overcome what you long to overcome. But don't forget to seek the Healer Himself. For more information, visit bobhamp.com

1. Drink water when you're thirsty.
2. Do not skip meals when you are clearly hungry. 
3. Allow yourself a bathroom break when you first feel the urge to go.
4. Rest when you can.

For years, I denied myself the simplest of human needs. If I had chores to do, I completed them--to the detriment of my health.

Finally, a very wise woman asked, "If the needs you had today were the needs of a child you were caring for, how would you say you cared for that child? Did you give her a glass of water when she was thirsty? Did you feed her? Did you allow her to go to the bathroom or become impatient with the interruption? Did she get to bed on time?"

I thought it over. The truth was staggering. I deserved better treatment.

Care for yourself. Listen to your body. You are a priceless gift from God. How do you treat yourself?

Journal entry: Spring 1983

"I start taking portions of my bedridden day and give them to God. I am unpracticed at this. It isn't easy. I read a little scripture and think about the words. I look out the window, oddly comforted by the trees. I talk to God in my head, telling him what I'm thinking. I am honest, for once in my life. I realize that I even had a way of coming before God and trying to do it perfectly. Wanting to seem holy, I guess. I give all of that up. I just tell God how I really feel. I say that I hurt. I say that building back my life has been too hard. I let the real tears come out. No more bravery. Just a struggling human being. I tell God that I do not want answers, miracles, or moving mountains. I only want a friend. I want peace inside.

It feels so good to be real. To be both strong and weak. A lot of weight begins to lift. I will succeed and I will also fail. I don't have to just succeed in order to be valued. Maybe I will even be likeable as a whole person, one with roundedness and failings. At least, I'm starting to like myself this way, and God seems to accept me. Some small peace roots itself inside of me and begins to grow." [end excerpt] Copyright 1996 by Paula D'Arcy

At the time, my husband was bound by drug addiction. I was subsequently bound by snooping, spying . . . basically acting like a crazy person, in an effort to control his out of control behavior. What I couldn't see at the time was that my behavior was equally out of control.

Over and over, I asked God to give me the grace to keep my eyes on my own life. And no, that doesn't mean that I read the Bible as my husband continued to get high in the next room.

I made a decision to take care of myself and my children; I made a decision to separate until my husband was willing to get some help and accumulate clean time. We were separated for two years. Today, we are in our sixteenth year of a loving, drug-free, co-dependant-free marriage and I thank God for him every day.

I encourage you to stop looking for pain and start looking for safe and effective solutions that will restore your sanity. Seek God as if your life depends on it because it does.

For more information on this topic, visit Wendy's blog and select the category: Setting Boundaries

Overwhelmed? Do what is in front of you today. Perhaps that means going to work when all you want to do is crawl back into bed. Maybe you have a sink full of dirty dishes and a baby to care for. I remember well, both scenarios and everything in between.

Looking back, I'm grateful for all the times I had to function under pressure. You see, I was in training. Today, my life is no longer dysfunctional, but pressure still comes. I write, I speak, I have a day job, a family to care for, and the list goes on. I learned to multi-task as a single mother; a strength that enables me to live my life today without becoming overwhelmed.

God uses everything for a greater good. Ask yourself today, "What can I learn from my circumstances today that will benefit me later?"

--Winnie the Pooh to Christopher Robin

--Audrey Hepburn [actor]

We're all human. We're all fallible. Sometimes we give up on others. Other times, we give up on ourselves. God never gives up on anyone. He holds in His mighty hands, the people we must detach from for our own good. And He holds us, too. He stands with us when we look in the mirror and fail to see our own value. He sees our value, and when we spend time with Him, He reveals the beauty of our reflections.

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--Helen Keller [Having lost sight and hearing ability at a very young age, Helen learned to grapple with life's small and big struggles.]

Just for today, I will hold my face up to the light, even if for the moment, I do not see it.

God in heaven, shine Your light into my dark circumstances. Direct my steps. Grant me the grace to function when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and then disappear. Reveal the tangible steps I must take as I commit to walk in Your ways. Remind me today that I am not alone.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

--Winston Churchill

Although, I have a feeling my Heavenly Father will see that His daughter gets a little icing on her cake in life! He's sweet that way!

How about you? Do you have dreams? Keep dreaming. Submit them to God and grant Him authority over how He will transform you into someone who can walk them out!

Once a month I have the honor of speaking to a group of single mothers in transitional housing. I love them. I love them for their bravery; for showing up for life each day, and for their willingness to do the hard work it takes to overcome difficult, even tragic circumstances. 

Last month as I was preparing for the meeting, God told me to give away the bottle of purple nail polish I bought the day before. OPI--the good stuff. I really liked my new polish, but God told me that it would be a sign to somebody that He still sees her. 

When we were all gathered together, I asked if anyone would like a bottle of purple nail polish. A few women inquired of the shade of purple, but still, no takers. Great. I feel like an idiot. Maybe I don't hear from God after all. But as the meeting came to a close, a shy woman asked for the polish. I gave it to her, she thanked me, and that was it.

But it turns out, that wasn't it! I was later told that the young woman once prayed to God. But life had taken some very cruel turns for her and in the process she decided that God must not love her. Here's the miracle: The same day I gave her the polish, she wanted to buy purple polish. She picked it up and carried it around the store with her and then put it back just before leaving--it wasn't in the budget. When I said that God told me to give away my purple polish, she knew exactly what shade of purple it was. It was the very color she wanted but didn't buy. It confirmed that God sees her. He cares. He reached for her and she began talking to Him again!

I get chills every time I think about it! He draws us with loving kindness. He stoops to meet our heart's desires. 

Can you think of a time when God communicated to you through someone else? Some random act of kindness that confirmed you are not invisible? I encourage you to be on the look out for the ways a loving God reaches for His beloved daughters. (And that means you!)

For reasons I may never understand, I am a "stray dog magnet." I've lost count of the dogs I've rescued and returned to their owners. Monday was such an occasion. A little Rat Terrier was wondering around my yard--no collar. Of course, I took him in.

He was precious. I loved on him so much that he began following me around the house. My two Labs were gentle with him, though I don't think he was ever convinced that they wouldn't eat him!

I posted his picture all over the neighborhood. I couldn't take him to a shelter. It's too disturbing. Four days later, no one had called to claim him. I wanted to keep him, but three dogs is not exactly in the budget. Then came the tears . . . because I'm an animal lover and because I've been weary from the amount of suffering I've witnessed over the last few months.

What can I say, I have a heart for the lost (pets and people), which led to the prayer: God, there is plenty of scripture to support my belief that You care for animals and for every little one whose lost his way. I've witnessed much loss recently and my heart is weary. Please reveal to me Your loving-kindness. Show me again that You see everything, including this little lost dog. My heart needs a happy ending this week. In Jesus' name, Amen.

The next morning his owner called! It turns out, he works nights and sleeps during the day. He didn't see my signs. He said he walked up the street that morning when he got home and for the first time his eyes were drawn to the post where I had taped his dog's picture.

He came over right away and picked up little Jeremy; such a sweet reunion. I opened my bible after they left and that's when I saw Psalm 26:3. Girls, God doesn't miss anything. His eyes never slumber. He cares about us and He cares about the people and pets who mean so much to us.

I needed that scripture. We all do. If you've been feeling unimportant before God, I encourage you today to ask Him to reveal more of His loving kindness toward you. You won't be disappointed.

If you are making every effort to overcome a painful circumstance (perhaps you're in therapy for survivors of sexual abuse, healing from an addiction, or overcoming dysfunction in your family), I want you to know that you are operating in goodness, righteousness, and truth--even when you mess up.

If you've messed up, don't beat yourself up. While it's true that we learn what is acceptable to the Lord by praying, discerning His will in the midst of our wants, and by studying the Bible, it's also true that we learn what is acceptable after we've done something that is unacceptable. I don't know about you, but I learn both ways. I'm not a perfect student. 

God knows it's hard right now. He knows you hurt, get frustrated, and feel like quitting at times. But don't give up. Tell Him every thing. If you can't say it, write it down. You'll be amazed at how quickly you receive fresh resolve to hang in there when you can collapse at His feet and have a good cry, or even a fit. 

I want you to fill in the blank for today's prayer:

Dear God, this is how I REALLY feel:______________________!

My prayer: May the angels who held you and brought you home, continue to hold your precious family and friends as we grieve the loss of beautiful you. There is no word in the Cherokee language for goodbye. I'll see you again someday. Amen.

Today we'll zero in on the last half of this scripture: As do stripes the inner depths of the heart.

Christ is gracious to heal us in layers. Today, I rarely have memories of the past abuse. If something does come up, I know that Christ is healing me on a deeper level and that any pain I might feel is temporary. Memories no longer strip me of the power and joy I have in Christ.

However, about four years ago, I remembered something that truly rocked my world. It was something my step-father said to me to get me to comply . . . I was heart-sick. I had a light day in the office. I rescheduled my clients, put on a big white T-shirt, grabbed a box of Kleenex and climbed into bed; where I cried most of the day.

I finally got around to asking God why He would allow me to have such a terrible memory and He answered, "To protect you. You desire to minister to little girls who've been abused. A small child is likely to tell you in confidence how her abuser coaxed her into the abuse. I can't have you falling apart--that would frighten her. So I allowed you to hear it now.  I've given you time to fall apart in my hands today, sweet daughter. Tomorrow, you will be stronger and more effective in ministry."

Praise: Father, thank You for wanting the very best for me. Thank you, for using my past for a greater good. My suffering is not in vain.

Today I offer a new perspective for painful memories:

When painful memories arise, I invite Christ into the center of my pain. I tell Him what happened that day and how it made me feel. When I do that consistently, I heal. I've come to believe that though the enemy wants to torture me with painful memories, Christ wants to cleanse my heart of them and free me from the power they have over my life. Does that make sense?

It's like wiping a toddler's runny nose. She cries and protests, perhaps her little nose is tender, but Mom has cleansing in mind.

Prayer: God, thank You for cleansing my heart of evil. I trust you in this process. Though it may hurt for a moment, the freedom You bring is everlasting. In Jesus' name, Amen.

 I rely on this passage today as much as I did when my life was a mess. As we grow in Christ, so do the challenges we face. Some challenges aren't fun. In fact, they're painful. But life is an awful and wonderful mixture of things. Even our greatest adventures require faith, strength, and courage.

It's comforting to know I'm not supposed to have all the answers. As I confess my fears, concerns, and weaknesses to Christ, His perfect love casts out fear, counsels me through my concerns, and activates strength not of my own.

No matter what we face; a painful challenge or an exciting challenge, His strength is made perfect in our weakness. All we have to do is humbly confess our weaknesses to Him.

What do you face today? You don't have to face it alone.

Prayer: Jesus, I confess that I am weak. I don't have all the answers, but You do. I invite Your strength into my weakness and thank You in advance for the good plans You have for me. Amen.

(Psalm 143: 7-8 NKJV)

I love the Psalms, especially the ones written by King David. I love that he was completely honest with how hopeless he felt at times, but always ended his prayers with a declaration of his faith. That is transparency that pleases God: an honest confession of how we really feel, followed by some sort of resolve that we will trust in Him.

I've met many women who wouldn't dare tell God that they felt hopeless, angry, or invisible before Him. I encourage you to pray this Psalm out loud if it's something you can relate to. If your not feeling discouraged, thank Him for the progress you've made.

No matter what you're feeling, God is big, and He can take it!

Physical, sexual, and verbal abuse. Addiction, neglect, criticism, rage . . . many children are afflicted in such ways. Perhaps you were. The thought of prevailing over a painful and abusive childhood appears impossible at times. It's hard because it hurts. It's hard because as you heal you must deal with the painful consequences of the choices you made from the depravity of your childhood. I know. 

But God is bigger than your past and every obstacle you face. He is for you, not against you. Early in my journey to healing, I was convinced that God purposely made it harder than it had to be. If you're thinking along those lines, I promise that God does not delight in your struggles. None of what happened to you was His idea. It happened because we live in a fallen world.

I won't sugarcoat reality. It's a hard fight. But you already have victory over your past in Christ. Follow His lead and awaken to His strength in you. And don't give up! The deeper the sorrow, the greater the joy will be on the other side. Christ will restore the honor that was stripped away from you.

You can and will heal. Repeat after me: I can and will heal.

Prayer: God, thank you for paving the way to victory. Through Christ, I can and will heal. Many a time they have afflicted me from my youth; yet they have not prevailed against me.

Hope flows naturally to a humble heart. When painful memories or circumstances bring feelings of despair, simply kneel before the Lord--a humble posture will position you to receive the strength you need to carry on.  

I encourage you to try it everyday for one week. Set aside one full minute each day to kneel before God  without speaking. Simple. Bend your knees, bow your head, close your mouth. You will experience His loving kindness.

A wise woman once said: God is the source, and the channels frequently change.

My husband and I were separated due to his drug addiction. He gave me a check to help cover our baby's expenses, but it bounced. I called my friend and that's when she said, "God remains the source of your provision. The channel has simply changed. You thought is was coming through a child support check. Go to your heavenly Father and ask for what you need."

And that's what I did. My Source provided. He always provided. It often came in unusual ways, but it came. And by the end of that first year, I trusted Him. He has done exceedingly more for me and my family than I ever could have imagined. My husband and I have been together now for fifteen years. Christ is the source of our miracle.

Have the channels recently changed for you? I pray you will come to know God as your Source in the deepest recesses of your heart.

Prayer: God, You are the source. The channels change, but You are my source. My fate rests in Your hands, not fallible man's. Make a way for me today as I walk in faith. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Note: If there's an art to crying out to God, King David mastered it. I love his transparency. He told God everything. You can too. Are you scared, hurt, fatigued, angry, or sad? Tell Him. Perhaps you've just experienced a breakthrough and your hope has been renewed. Thank Him! Regardless of where you are today, Christ is the lifter of our chins. Chin up, in Christ you can and will overcome!

Prayer: God, You consider my circumstances as I cry out to You. You hear me. You care for me. I will continue to tell You how I feel and trust that when I can't find the words to speak, You see them in my heart and receive them. Today I will look up. In Jesus' name, Amen

(Joel 2: 25-27 NKJV)

Note: My husband and I have been together for fifteen years. The first ten years were a disaster. He was broken and addicted to drugs. I was broken and addicted to him. We  both did a lot of damage. Even after we began to heal, it seemed we couldn't get a break. Life was hard. When I found this scripture, I related immediately.

But God is faithful. He has restored more than I ever hoped He would. He continues to restore us. When He says we will not be put to shame. He doesn't mean there won't be times when we feel embarrassed around others. He means that shame will not reside in our hearts. I'm a survivor of sexual abuse, and I'm no longer prisoner to the shame it leaves in a girl's heart.

Take some time today and unpack this passage. See where you can relate and talk to God about it.

Prayer: God, thank You in advance for all that You intend to thoroughly restore in my heart and in my life. I believe You are moving me forward. Help me to recognize progress and avoid the trap of perfection. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Note: For change to occur we must ask God to reveal more of Himself and be willing to take a humble look at our own behavior. Meditating on the wrongs of another person does not bring us any closer to the truth. Do you want to be "right" or free?

Prayer: God, reveal more of Yourself to me each day. Help me to keep my eyes on my own life and let go of what I think others should be doing to get better. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Note: This is one of my favorite passages in the Bible. It reminds me that God takes our wounds seriously. He wants to heal us and transform our lives, not simply pat us on our heads and tell us everything is fine if it's not. But remember, sometimes the process of dressing a deep wound is painful. When this happens, you can trust His intentions toward you. God is not making things worse if for a moment, you feel worse. He is healing you thoroughly, because you mean that much to Him. 

Prayer: God, thank You for taking my deep hurts seriously. I will trust You with my healing process and remind myself that You only want the very best for me. In Jesus' name, Amen."

Note: God wants you to have a healthy heart and mind. If you're doing the best you can, but your circumstances aren't turning around as quickly as you'd hoped, take a deep breath. Keep doing the best you can. Continue to seek God. His best is at work on the inside, so that you will be able to contain His best for you on the outside.

When I was at my lowest point emotionally, I believed my life was harder than it should have been, after all, I was seeking God. I wanted Him to turn years of dysfunction around quickly. But it was my pursuit of Him throughout my struggles that prepared me to operate in His strength throughout demanding circumstances. Today, He has blessed me beyond anything I desired as a broken person. But those blessings require much of me. I couldn't have handled them years ago.

Trust in Him. Tell Him you trust in Him. And when you doubt, tell Him that too. "I want to trust You, but I struggle to believe. God, heal my unbelief."

Prayer: "God, I'm doing the best I can. I believe that beneath the surface of stressful circumstances, You are moving on my behalf. You are preparing me to receive Your best for me. Thank You. Direct my path today and help me to trust that I am not alone in this journey. In Jesus' name, Amen."

Note: King David prayed this after getting involved with another man's wife. It was a choice he made from what I believe to be an on going battle with lust. We all battle something at one time or another. I've experienced both sides of infidelity. I've been unfaithful, and I've been betrayed. Both left me afraid that my heart would be permanently stained. Regardless of why you have pain in your heart, you can ask God to cleanse it. And He will. He is not a condemning God. When He washes away our sin (or the careless sin of another), He also absolves sin's guilt and lovingly guides us as we walk out the consequences.

Prayer: God, create in me a clean heart, and grant me the determination to hold Your hand and trust You to transform me.

Prayer: God, hear my cries for help. Defend me in Your strength, and guide me through this day. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Note: When I was a single mother, the days were overwhelming. I literally asked God each morning for the strength to get out of bed. I was tired (the baby didn't sleep at night). My two school-aged sons were tired. But each day God provided us with the ability to show up for life and participate. By the grace of God and with more coffee than I care to admit!

Prayer: God, I have many painful memories. They spring up like grass and cause me to feel defeated. I submit each memory to you and thank you for cleansing my heart of them. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Note: The memories of betrayal and abuse can be overwhelming. But know that when a painful memory arises, you can say, "God, You are sovereign over that circumstance. Cleanse my heart  and my mind of that day so that it no longer has power over me."

Prayer: Father, I'm overwhelmed. Help me to hear your voice today. Direct my steps as I do the best I can. Your word says You will lift a standard against the enemy. Help me to believe that You are always working on my behalf. In Jesus' name, Amen.