Good morning! I won't have Internet access for a few days. Next blog entry will be Monday, August 2nd.

Meanwhile, I want to leave you with a Scripture to meditate on. "For I will restore health to you, and I will heal your wounds," says the Lord. (Jer. 30:17)

Blessings, I continue to pray for you and hope for you. If you're not in a place where you believe, just believe that I believe for now.

Back on Monday!

My mom's dog, Bear, has mysteriously fallen ill. The doctors don't know the cause, so they don't know how to treat him. He's in emergency care as his throat continues to swell. We're major dog lovers, it's heartbreaking to watch. 

Last night was a long night. I couldn't stop thinking about Bear, the writer's conference I'll be attending this Thursday through Sunday that I don't feel prepared for, how many times I snapped at my husband earlier in the day, you, me, and why I refuse to drink more water even as my face continues to break out (at the age of forty-two). 

In my restlessness, I found myself wondering at 3:00 AM if God was thinking of me, you, and even Bear. I got out of bed and shuffled into my office where I had left my Bible. I opend it to Psalm 140:17-18:

"How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You."

What a comfort to be reminded that God is always thinking of me and you and sick pets. He sees us, He's thinking of us. He knows how we feel and cares how we feel. God feels for us.

I want answers, but for the moment there are none; none that I can see. As far as God has brought me over the years, I still have nights when I'm restless. Still have moments when it's hard to detach from the outcome. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's just part of the journey.

If you've ever rocked a restless baby, you know what I'm talking about. Some nights the baby drifts off to sleep and others he/she fusses all night. It's just life.

Bless you, sweet friend. If you've been restless, you can rest assured that you are being tenderly gazed upon. God is thinking of you.

My first spiritual mentor was a woman named Suzanne. She had a knack for redirecting me when I was sure that life doesn't get better for people with problems like mine. No matter how I looked at it, my life was dysfunctional from every angle. I tried to do the "next right thing" and seek the will of God to the best of my ability. I tried, but my life didnt' improve much in the beginning.

I remember getting angry with God. Didn't He see how hard I was trying? Didn't He care that I was a single mother with a baby who DID NOT SLEEP? I actually served my twelve and nine-year-old sons coffee before school. None of us were sleeping.

When I called Suzanne to tell her I was mad at God, she always replied, "It's okay to be mad at God. He's big and He can take it. Are you willing to believe He will bring you further than your current circumstances?" 

"I guess so. I mean, yes." Later I would pray:

"Thank you God for directing my steps. I believe You are leading me out of my current circumstances with each step. Bless my steps."

It was a slow process but looking back I can see that each time I allowed God to change my heart, that change was reflected in my everyday life. Ten years later, that's still the way it works for me.

Psalms 119: 105 is precious to me. "The Lord is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."

It reminds me that change starts with me, the very place I stand and expands to my future.

Where do you stand today? If you're in a tough circumstance, are you willing to believe God will bring you further? If yes, will you pray that prayer? If you're not. It's okay. God is big and He can handle whatever you need to say to Him. He always blesses an honest heart.

I would love to hear from you. If you want to ask me a question, but remain anonymous, just go to the contact page. You can skip the information box.

Hi everyone! I just got home (still have the day job). I'm heading upstairs with a bowl of popcorn, two dogs, and my elven-year-old son to watch Alice and Wonderland for the fifth time.

Should have a new blog for you after dinner tonight. Meanwhile, if you forgot this morning, it's never too late to ask God to direct your steps for the day. Just today. One day at a time, right? Take a deep breath and whisper, "One day at at time."

Bless you.

When my oldest son was two and a half his kidneys failed and he nearly died. During his hospital stay nurses collected blood samples via finger-sticks evey six hours. Before long his little fingers were so bruised that they switched to his precious toes.

My heart splintered each time they entered the room. I knew it hurt him, and that hurt me. I held him each time they drew blood and cried with him as he begged, "Mommy, make them go away!"

He was a toddler, incapable of understanding how his mother could allow something so horrible. But you see, I had knowledge he didn't have. And while I HATED what he went through, I understood why I had to allow it. Apart from medical necessity, allowing grown ups to puncture a child's fingers and toes is abusive and cruel. My little one could only perceive that I refused to protect him. Long after his kidneys healed, he was still healing from his perception of that hospital stay.

Stay with me.

Matthew 18: 6-7 refers to what I believe to be child abuse:

"But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be greater for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea."

Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come.

We live in a fallen world and therefore, "these things" must come. God did not intend for His children to suffer abuse. He created Adam and Eve in a perfect environment. The fall of man opened the door to horrendous abuse. And when that happens. The Creator of the universe, who only wanted perfection for us, cries with us and for us.

The good news is that He sent His Son to ensure we could heal if we wanted. And his Holy Spirit to hold, comfort, and counsel us throughout the healing process. 

You are NOT too damaged to heal. Go to the One who wept with you and for you when you were abused and betrayed. Nothing can separate you from His love. Not even your anger. Imagine the fits my toddler threw. I understood why he was so angry and confused, he's my child.

Today he is a man, twenty-three years old. He still uncomfortable having his blood drawn, but I will never forget the day he told me that he was going to step into the pain, and donate blood. Wow.

You are overcoming. One day at at time. Some day you will donate a bit of your own blood, sweat, and tears and perhaps save a life too. Ahhh, the greater good prevails in a world where "these things" must come.

Psalm 129:2 "Many a time they have afflicted me from my youth; but they have not prevailed against me."

How do you feel about the story? Can you relate? Did you gain a new perspective on painful experiences? I would love to hear from you!