It's tempting to look at someone elses marriage and model yours by what you see. Don't be deceived. Even the people in designer suits have their share of struggles. I know men and women who have been clean and sober for years. I know more who seek God to the best of their ability and stumble on occasion. Relapses are a reality in the healing process that no one wants to talk about. I think it's a shame really, because if the only testimony of Grace that's presented from a platform is "Bless God, I never tripped over that particular sin again" how then, do we encourage the larger percentage of people in church who are seeking with all of their might but God bless them, they're still on the battle field.

We all want a flawless testimony. We may think that if we don't have one, God can't use us to better the world, or worse, we fear that we're not getting better. Take heart, the central theme in the Bible is God's use of the weak and inexperienced. If you're banged up or in over your head, you're in good company. The truth is, my testimony is always changing and growing. God adds to the story every day. It was never meant to be a trophy story that I take off the shelf and shine up for large gatherings.

My husband is a recovering addict and I'm a survivor of child sexual abuse. We live with scars, but not in bondage. We get up every morning and let God love us, ensuring that we have something to give back to one another. Except on the days when we don't. You'll have to forgive us, we are like sheep; prone to wonder.  And thank God, the Shepard comes looking for us when we do. That, my friend, is the recipe for "happily ever after."

I am learning to accept the frog and the prince in my husband. He knows that this princess can be a real pain in his backside. Let's face it ladies, some days we walk around with crooked tiaras and our dresses caught in our panties! It's a vision that hardly fits Hollywood's image of a fairy tale. Frogs, crooked crowns, designer bags made of the finest leather bulging with past hurts, addictions, and failures; all are under the loving authority of a sovereign God who is ready to redeem it all. Will we simply bow?

There is a difference between someone who is clearly in a healing process and trying to overcome an addiction and someone who has no intention of getting help, but manipulates you to remain hostage to something destructive.

When someone is truly yielded to the process of healing, they may have slips, but they also have accountability and a tangible plan accompanied by measureable milestones. Do you or your spouse have these things in place? If not, are you willing to seek professional instruction? Twelve-step programs and Celebrate Recovery programs are free if you cannot afford a licensed counselor. You can Google them and find one in your area.