I'm not a professional counselor, but trust me, he should have at least two years of sobriety coupled with consistent responsibilities and accountability. And he should be maturing spiritually--and emotionally, with measurable milestones of that growth.

Recovery is a long road. And relapses are a reality in the recovery process. It's not enough to move forward and concede that it's going to be tough. You need to be fully aware of what makes it so tough. Please consider that not all alcoholics drive under the influence. Five times that you know of, he has been willing to disregard the safety of others by getting behind the wheel. A pattern that should not be minimized by a woman with three children.  

It takes time to heal from addiction. The most loving thing you can do is allow him to focus on getting and staying better. With less than a year sober, you could easily become his new addiction. And when the thrill of "you" wears off, there is always potential for a relapse.

This is most likely not what you wanted to hear. I'm sure that you could tell me some really wonderful things about your friend and I would believe you. No one has so much baggage that they are undeserving of love. You're not wrong if you love him. But your first responsibility must be to maintain a stable and loving environment for you and your children.

At the moment, your friend is not capable of joining you to provide those things. Regarding his financial hardship: DUI's in the state of Texas are costly. Should your relationship become permanent, you will find yourself in an enormous amount of debt from his previous addiction. These are all things that he needs time to resolve before pursuing a relationship with a woman who has three children to provide for.

I hope that helps. Pray for your friend. Celebrate his recovery, but hold off on anything romantic if you can. One thing is certain, time will tell. So wait...and literally see if he is going to become all that God created him to be.

I encourage you to read my book as you think things over. I go into detail about what my husband and I went through as he recovered from drug addiction. The good, the bad, and the ugly; the effects it had on me and my children. It's all in there.

God Bless you, your children, and your friend, as he braves his way into sobriety. Feel free to contact me any time.