It's very important to speak life over our husbands and not death. An example of death is something like: You'll never change! An example of life is: Thank you, Lord, that my husband is changing. Show me how I can better support your will in his life.

Now, don't panic. I'm not a "Stepford wife" (remember that movie?) and I'm not asking you to be one either. I used to think to myself, If one more person in ministry asks me to be supportive of my husband, I'm gonna jump off a cliff!...what about me? Don't I matter in all of this?

"They have healed the hurt of My people slightly, Saying, 'Peace, peace!' When there is no peace." (Jeremiah 6:14 NKJV)

Yes, as a matter of fact, you do. I had a major breakthrough after my husband's last relapse and neither of us have been the same since. 

I climbed into the bed in our guest bedroom (after one of those arguments), and got real with God, my Father. It went something like this:

"God, I know that you love me. I know that you love Michael. But, I'm not just his wife. I'm your daughter. You are my Daddy, and as your daughter, I'm telling You that my husband has hurt me.

I need to know that how I'm feeling right now matters to You. If I can just be assured of that, then I know I will be okay, but I can't ignore how broken and humiliated I feel beneath all of my "godly woman" responses. I can't do this anymore. I have faithfully been about your business, now I ask You to be about mine. In Jesus' name, Amen."

Peace came like a river. I will never forget how "held" I felt by my Father. It remains one of the top five defining moments in my Christian walk. To date, my husband has not relapsed.

Did you need to hear this today? Are you so busy trying to be a godly wife that you've forgotten how much a girl needs her Daddy during times like these? There is something to this. It plays a huge role in our ability to truly forgive a deep wound. Deep wounds must first be bound by the Healer, before they are free to extend forgiveness to another.

So say what you need to say.Cry, throw a fit; whatever. Confide in Him the way you would a very trustworthy and wise earthly father, with the assurance that He will not take sides and hold what you say against your husband, because He loves both of you perfectly and passionately.

Read Isaiah 61:1

You have a Daddy who is very interested in binding your wounds, healing your broken heart, and opening the doors of the prison from which you have been bound.