"Love suffers long and is kind: love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails..."

Now I'll tell you what the enemy will whisper in your ear after reading that Scripture when you're in a slump: You don't love anymore. And I am convinced that is why Christian marriages fall apart at the same rate other marriages do. We buy into the belief that we have fallen out of love with our spouses. It's a lie. If you have Christ in your heart, you have Love in your heart. You're just temporarily lacking the power to express it.

As I was praying about what hinders us from expressing love, God reminded me of a scene in the movie When Harry Met Sally. Sally was deeply hurt by something Billy said and her way of coping was to ignore him, but he pursued her anyway with phone calls. This is the last message he left on her answering machine:

"The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe that (a) You're not home, (b) You're home, but don't want to talk to me, or (c) You're home, desperately want to talk to me, but you're trapped under something heavy. If it's either (a) or (c), please give me a call."

If you're not feeling in love with your spouse these days, it's not because love is not at home in your heart. If Christ is there, love is there. Perhaps your love is trapped under something heavy.

The light of God broke through and "un-slumped" me. He showed me that the love in my heart was trapped under a heavy memory of a past relapse and that He will heal me and set me free to love His way, just as He has a thousand times before.

I confessed, I cried, He comforted, and by the next day I felt so much love for my husband it was embarassing. It doesn't always happen that fast. There have been times when healing took more time than I wanted it to and we had to give our marriage permission to not look like we wanted for a season. The point is, let God love you and you will have something to give back.

Sadly, there are marriages that must end due to violence, repeated infidelity, or severe addiction, but even then, Love will not fail you. He will comfort you and direct your steps. Ten years ago, Michael and I had to separate due to drug addiction. We had a six-month-old baby and lived apart for almost two years before we could live (love) under the same roof again. 

Can you relate? If you can't express love God's way, it leads me to believe that (a) love is not yet at home in your heart, (b) love is home, but you're too stubborn to talk to God, or (c) love is in your heart, desperately wants to be expressed, but is trapped under something heavy. If it is either (a) or (c), please give God a call.

And now abide in faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13 NKJV)

Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. (1 John 4:15-16 NKJV)

*An Addendum: I am referring to the marriages that fall apart because when the going gets tough, one or both spouses decide to get going instead of stick together and allow God to work in and through them. I realize that there are many men and women who have loved and loved and loved, but must now separate for good reasons. My heart goes out to you. 

May I suggest a prayer?

"Father in heaven, I have faithfully been about your business. I ask you now to be about mine. As you heal my heart, please direct my steps. Help me continue to walk in an honoring and loving manner in the midst of trying times. In your strength, I will overcome and smile again. In Jesus' name, Amen."

I know from personal experience, how powerful this prayer is.