In John 6:12 Jesus instructs His disciples to gather up the fragments of bread left over from the five barley loaves He'd multiplied to feed five thousand people. "Gather up the fragments that remain, so that nothing is lost."

Today, Christ gathers the fragments of our hearts, makes us whole, and then uses our stories to feed those who hunger for encouragement--assurance that they are not alone.

No matter where you are in the healing process, chances are you have something to offer someone who's not as far along as you. It's also likely that if you're open to receiving help, God has placed someone in your life that can come along side you as you continue to grow.

Who can you encourage today? How? Who can encourage you? Will you let them?

A word about seasons of isolation: There have been times in my life when I've reached out for help, but it didn't come from human hands. Times when I believed I would go insane from loneliness AND being alone. I've learned that during those times God wanted my full attention. If you better relate to this scenario, spend time talking to God each day. Really talking. Tell Him how you feel about this season in your life. And rest assured--it's only for a season.

Read stories that tell of God's servants during seasons of isolation. Notice how they responded to God. Take note of the insights they gained. Ask God for wisdom and the know-how to apply it to your circumstances.

Prayer: God, I entrust You with the fragments of my heart and I believe You will make me whole. Guide me today. Help me to recognize that there is purpose in my life. Provide opportunities for me to be a source of encouragement to others, and grant me the courage to be obedient to what You ask of me. If You want my full attention, let Your very presence teach me that I am never alone. I do not suffer in vain. In Jesus' name, amen.

"One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it."
                                --Sidney Howard

I have found this to be true in every area of my life.

I knew I wanted to heal from an abusive past when I determined to give up a victim mentality. I gave up the belief that I was damaged for good. I let go of the idea that I was bound to dysfunctional relationships. 

How did I do this?

I resolved to participate in my own healing. I set aside time to be alone with God each day. I sought therapy; individual and group. I followed my counselor's suggestions. I memorized Scripture and meditated on them when I felt overwhelmed with pain. I resolved to overcome . . . no matter what.

I knew I wanted my marriage to heal when I became willing to die to selfishness and stop living life so "guarded." I stopped complaining about my husband and started honoring him. I didn't always think it was fair. Sometimes it wasn't. But God honored my efforts and over time, transformed my husband into the best husband in the world. Seriously. This doesn't mean he's perfect. It means he seeks God, does his best to obey God, and values me. He's awesome (even though he almost never returns his shoes to the closet).

I knew I wanted to be a better mother when I gave up screaming at my children. I let go of reasons to scold and looked for ways to encourage them to do their best. I watched for "teachable moments." I quit complaining when they acted rebellious and chose to pray diligently and give them consequences. I fought for my children. 

I knew I wanted to mature in Christ when I gave up my childish ways: Pitching fits when I didn't get my way. Arguing to prove a point instead of yielding to restore peace. Serving the fear of rejection by keeping to myself or "not playing well with others."

A crippled man knew he wanted to be made well when he gave up lying on his mat after thirty-eight years and obeyed Jesus when He said, "Rise, take up your bed and walk." (John 5: 5-8)

Practical tip: To give something up, you must replace it with something. Want to give up eating ice cream at 10:00 at night? Then eat an apple (something healthy that you enjoy.) If you try not eating anything at all, you're more likely to eat ice cream. Want to stop drinking alcohol? Participate in a twelve-step program and DRINK something non-alcoholic when you feel like drinking. If you refuse to hydrate when you're thirsty, you're more likely to drink the alcohol or soft drink; whatever you're trying to give up.

Want to heal? Seek God as if your life depends on it--because it does. Take hold of Him and overtime, you'll find yourself healing from the the things that once took hold of you.

Do you know, really know, what you want? What are you willing to give up to receive it?

 An excerpt from Kenneth Holmes' Just For Today:

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Narcotics Anonymous includes this passage in their literature. When I was a single mother with a baby, two young boys, and a broken heart, it was difficult to function. The thought of my daily responsibilities overwhelmed me. 

So, I reduced my schedule into intervals of time: An hour and a half to take the boys to school in a neighboring town. An hour to get ready for work. Five hours as a clinical massage therapist--one client at at time; one hour at a time.

Focusing on increments of time instead of a twenty-four hour day, enabled me to keep moving. I was desperate. I was tired. I needed grace (and lots of it), simply to get through each day. I prayed my way through everything required of me. Amazing Grace kept me moving.

My circumstances didn't last forever. What I learned about the unfailing love of God throughout my circumstances, continues to serve me today.

If you're overwhelmed by the idea of getting your children ready for school and the next five tasks that follow; pause. Ask God for the grace to ready your kiddos and drop them off. Then pray again regarding the next item on your "to do" list.

"Therefore don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34 NIV)  

Try breaking this bible verse down further: Therefore, don't worry about what needs to happen at noon today. Trust God to strengthen you through the morning. Noon-time presents enough challenges of its own.

If you have negative thoughts and feelings about a person who's hurt you--you're not wrong to have them--you're human. But how can you keep destructive thoughts and feelings from contaminating your heart and giving birth to sin?

In therapy, I learned to counter my negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Bible studies taught me to quote Scripture that spoke specifically to my circumstances. I did both. But at the risk of offending some--I didn't experience the full empowerment of either plan UNTIL out of complete frustration I confessed my thoughts and feelings at the feet of Jesus. In my walk-in closet, I formed a habit of telling Him everything, everyday.

No matter how ugly the thoughts, I confessed aloud to Beauty; again and again. He never tired of my confessions. He never shamed me. He listened with compassion and forgave my sins when my thoughts convinced me to retaliate. He loved me.

Slowly, I overcame. I was no longer captive to angry, destructive thoughts. I was released from the prison of "I can't forgive."

". . . Take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5).

One of my favorite movies is Living Out Loud, with Holly Hunter. Her character, Judith Moore, goes through a painful divorce after her husband leaves her for a younger woman.

There's a scene in which she finds herself alone in an elevator with her soon-to-be ex-husband. He says something sarcastic and her emotions take over:

Judith Moore (to a friend after confronting her ex-husband in the elevator): I mean, the situation clearly called for me to attack him!

I've been there and done that. And for the same reason. Except, I wasn't married to the man I attacked who'd gotten involved with a younger woman.

I hurt a lot of people that day. I'd intended to hurt only the man who'd hurt me, but from the moment I bowed to my emotions, Fury took no prisoners. I hurt myself. I hurt my children. I hurt my finances (I was ticketed and fined for a Class-C assault).

I've learned over the years that when someone hurts me, they're more likely to feel conviction over their behavior when I refrain from attempting to out-hurt them. God is my vindicator.

"A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back. (Proverbs 29:11)

A Healthy Reaction: If you've been hurt by someone you love, run to God. Cry. Vent. Feel. Allow the God of all comfort to dry your tears. Ask for wisdom. Wait for it. This plan of re-action will empower you. Venting may give temporary relief, but truth is, it will strip you of dignity and power in the days to come.

From the Daily Devotional "Jesus Calling" by Sara Young

When you approach Me in stillness and in trust, you are strengthened. You need a buffer zone of silence around you in order to focus on things that are unseen. Since I am invisible, you must not let your senses dominate your thinking. The curse of this age is over stimulation of the senses, which blocks out awareness of the unseen world.

The visible world still reflects My Glory, to those who have eyes that see and ears that hear. Spending time alone with Me is the best way to develop seeing eyes and hearing ears. The goal is to become aware of unseen things even as you live out your life in the visible world.

2 Corinthians 4:18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. [end of excerpt}

A Dose of Reality: This is a beautiful and true devotional. By the grace of God, my life today affords me the time and space to seek the Lord in stillness and in trust. But this wasn't always so. Sarah's devotional got me thinking about the women who don't have access to "buffer zones of silence in order to focus on things that are unseen."

Eleven years ago, I was a single mother with a six-month-old baby and two elementary school-aged boys. A buffer zone of silence was a luxury I could not afford. My husband and I were separated due to his battle with drug addiction, so there were no visitations--no breaks. I was overwhelmed by the reality of what my eyes saw and my ears heard each day.

I tried. I prayed in the bathroom until little hands knocked on the door. I attempted to meditate at night after I'd gotten the boys to bed, but my baby was a little insomniac. I can't tell you how many times I was interrupted in midstream of heart-felt prayer and quickly said, "Sorry God, I gotta go now!" I read when I could. What's important is that I sought God to the best of my ability and He honored my efforts.

He blessed my efforts. My very willingness had profound effects in the world unseen. It paved the way for my life today. Regardless of your circumstances, seek to the best of your ability and know that the love of God is unfailing.

Take Action: Ask God for a few moments of silence each day. If it comes, pray. If it doesn't, pray. It can be short: "God, give me the strength to get through this moment, hour, day, night."

Tape an encouraging scripture to the dash of your car. Speak it aloud each time you drive.

Play worship music while driving or listen to teaching tapes. Women in the midst of hardship must be resourceful and intentional. What you're going through won't last forever. What you learn about a loving God throughout trials, will.

If anyone among you thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue, but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless. (James. 1:26)

Bridle the tongue. Hmmm . . . easier said than done, that's for sure. I was one week post-oral-surgery and annoyed with my husband. It must have been really important because I don't remember what "ruffled my feathers." (But I like to think I was right and he was wrong.) Physically, it hurt to talk, but I was a trooper and pushed through the pain in an attempt to enlighten the light of my life. Again and again.

What can I say. I was tired and cranky. He was tired and cranky.

Am I painting a familiar picture?

Subsequently, I was rude, then he was rude, I was rude, then he was rude.

My husband, who frequently has more sense then I do when things are getting heated, wanted to "take a break." Which to me is guy-code for "please shut up now."

So of course I kept talking. I had no business talking, but never the less. And somewhere in the middle of "lets take a break" and my refusal to shut up, my jaw literally locked up from overuse. Pain successfully got my full attention, closed my mouth, and secretly high-fived my husband.

I spent the evening in silence--home-schooled by Pain. If I had known my words would bring about so much pain would I have spoken them?

That's when my faithful friend, Conviction, showed up.

It grieves Me when you're rude and argumentative. If you could feel the emotional impact caused by your words, you would consider them more carefully before speaking. (I'll let you connect the dots.)

Lesson Number 3:

Speak boldly, not badly.

Today's action for Lesson Number 3:

Take an inventory of your word choices today. Did they cause unnecessary pain? If yes, how could you have spoken boldly and not badly?

I complain a lot. I do. I like to think I don't. I like to think that because I'm productive by nature, it's not as noticeable as when non-productive people complain. But this past week I've learned that complaining is complaining, no matter the personality type of the person who's complaining.

Lesson Number 2 was written on a morning I felt somewhat myself again after surgery. Little did I know I was about to spend the next several days in bed with a migraine headache. Have you ever suffered with a migraine?   

They're crazy painful. Even the sound of my own voice hurt. My husband attempted to watch the NBA finals with the volume muted and I whispered, "Babe, I can't handle the light coming from the television even with my eyes closed."

By day three, I felt a flush of panic when I realized I hadn't accomplished anything. I couldn't work, play, read . . . it hurt to smile. That's when it dawned on me that I was no longer complaining. Pain caused me to be conservative with my words. I'd rather whisper, "I love you" or "thank you," than talk about my circumstances.

I thought of the Savior--how He understood what would be accomplished through suffering. He welcomed it. Embraced it.  Could I?

Lesson Number 3: 

Complaining wastes time and depletes energy. It has no value.

Today's action for Lesson Number 3:

Ask someone you're close to (spouse, friend, co-worker) if you complain too much. If they say yes, ask for examples and then humbly consider what they tell you.

"God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." (James 3:6)

Note: If you're in pain today (physical or emotional), it's okay to tell someone. You should. But limit your time talking about it. The longer you complain, the further you take yourself from solutions. Conserve your energy for solutions, I love you , and thank you. 

An excerpt from Mitch Albom's have a little faith. (Copyright 2009, Mitch Albom, Inc.)

From a Sermon by the Reb, 1958

"A little girl came home from school with a drawing she'd made in class. She danced into the kitchen, where her mother was preparing dinner.
" 'Mom, guess what?' she squeaked, waving the drawing.
"Her mother never looked up.
" 'What?' she said, tending to the pots.
" 'Guess what?' the child repeated, waving the drawing.
" 'What? the mother said, tending to the plates.
" 'Mom, you're not listening.'
" 'Sweetie, yes I am.'
" 'Mom,' the child said, 'you're not listening with your eyes.' " [end of excerpt]

Read the book. (I'm just sayin'.)  As I read this passage, I welcomed conviction when it knocked at the door of my heart. Holy Conviction, forever, my friend.

Later that day I read aloud to my son, Zachary. I'll never forget the look of validation that came over his sweet, freckled face. He smiled without saying a word.

"Zach," I said. I do that to you sometimes, don't I?"

"Yeah. Sometimes Dad does it, too."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the times I didn't listen with my eyes. Will you forgive me? And Zach, please feel free to remind me if I forget. Okay?"

"I forgive you. I'll tell you if you do it again."

"Good. I love you, Zach."

"Love you, too, Mom. Can I go now?"

(He's twelve. Moments like this, though spectacular, are short in duration at this age--much like fireworks on the 4th of July.)

Lesson Number 2:

LISTEN. My friend, James, (remember, I'm reading the book of James everyday) puts it like this:

"So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger."

Today's Action for Lesson Number 2:

Listen with your eyes. Be open, truly open, to what someone else (who, by the way is created in the likeness of God), has to share with you. AND THEN, ask questions that will require them to continue sharing who they are or what they're going through. For the love of God, don't forfeit a beautiful opportunity to continue listening with your eyes because you've just discovered how their story relates to you. Which leads us back to Lesson #1: It's not about me.

Today I'm ten days post oral-surgery and finally able to rise early and enjoy a cup of coffee. I mentioned before that I'd ask God to heal me UNLESS allowing me to go through this would accomplish something in my heart that couldn't otherwise be accomplished. He said, "Okay." So, I thank God for having my best interest at heart. (Even though at one point I broke down and whined for relief like a small child begging for candy at the supermarket.) 

I'm also still reading the book of James each day. My original instruction from God was to read it every day for 40 days, but the times I've read it now run together and I've lost count. It's just like the Word to do that--to diminish my ability to keep score and draw boundary lines that measure my obedience (God help me), to pierce me--with the most loving intentions, and empty me of me and fill me with more of Him.

Lesson number 1: "It's not about me."

Today is Memorial Day. This day commemorates U.S. Service Members who died while in the military service. First enacted by formerly enslaved African-Americans to honor Union Soldiers of the American Civil War--it was extended after World War I to honor Americans who have died in all wars. (wikipedia.org)

So, today lets give honor where honor is due. Take with me, time today, to quietly thank God for all the men and women who've put their lives on the line for us in ways we cannot imagine, for reasons we are often too selfish to attempt to understand. I feel a flash of shame for all the years I've simply been grateful for the day off, rather than grateful for the ones who gave their lives for their convictions and the protection of others.

Today's action for lesson #1:

Remember the honorable deeds of others. Remember them. Say, "Thank you." And then speak blessing into the families they've left behind. While my son misses school today, another's son is missing a loved one. 

Sometimes healing comes slowly, whether it's emotional or physical. You'd think I'd have the waiting part "down pat" after all I've been through, but nope. This time it's physical healing I wait for, and I must confess, I'm a very impatient patient. A girl on the move---on bed rest, is not a pretty sight.

I'd asked God to heal me; eliminating the need for surgery, unless there was something that could only be accomplished in my Spirit through this experience. So now I'm left with the probability that there is something to be gained from all of this, other than just the strength to resume physical activity. (Which is a nice way of saying I am lacking in an area that needs to be filled with God.)

In all circumstances, there are lessons to be learned. The people who enter our lives each day are there to teach us something about ourselves. Are we too needy or critical? Are we difficult to get a long with or perhaps, too passive? 

One thing I've learned so far is that life has a way of shifting today's plans to another day. It bothers me when things come up and I'm unable to update this website when I've committed to it. Yesterday, aside from having no business getting out of bed, I was determined to update the daily dose when life updated me with its own daily dose of "you have no control over the power going out in your home office. "

It's part of life. What part of life frustrates you the most at the moment? Let's take a deep breath together and remember who IS in control and it's not you or me.

God is in control.

I encourage you to take advantage of today's circumstances and the people in your life and then use your eyes to look within. You cannot control your circumstances. You cannot control people. But you can humbly kneel before the One who is in control, remain teachable, and soon you won't feel so powerless. His power will flow through you, and renew your strength.  

But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint (Isaiah 40:31 NKJV).