Christopher was the principle male character during that time of my life. It wasn't fair. There was nothing fair about it. Yes, yes, it's healthy for older siblings to learn to assist with the younger, but ours was a twisted version of that. Back then, it was 911-necessary, and I cannot imagine the burden that both of my sons carried...the times I was emotionally unstable.

It's not a coincidence that this came up. Just yesterday afternoon, I thanked God for my husband and children and asked Him to reward them for the sacrifices they made so that I could seek Him diligently. At the time I was referring to the long hours I spent studying my Bible and then the writing of the book.

"...He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.: (Hebrews 11: 6 NKJV)

I can see now, how easily those of us in ministry can become blinded to the sacrifices our families often make when we have one more hour to write, yet the popcorn is popped and they're ready to push play on the DVD player. I've learned many things the hard way. I've since learned to stop writing and watch the movie. The Holy Spirit will prompt my memory if I forget where I was when I left off.

It was on the heels of this revelation that Christopher told me that he loved my book, but was hurt that there was no mention of how much he helped me when Michael and I separated. My heart broke. He was right. Why didn't I mention it?

We talked it over and both agree that during the time that I recounted single-motherhood, he was a teenager and that our relationship at the time was very strained. It's not an excuse, just the reason that rose up in my spirit.

The greater lesson here is that we have to be careful not to lose sight of who a person really is in the midst of frustrating seasons of life with them. Mine is a perfect example of "throwing the baby out with the bath water". Lesson learned.

"God in heaven, thank you for allowing me to see more fully through your eyes. Your eyes. Thank you for the heroes in my life."

Matthew, who was nine at the time: for all the funny faces he made to keep the baby entertained so that I could cook meals.

And Christopher, the un-sung hero in my "raising a baby on my own story". I wasn't as alone as I once thought.

I couldn't have done it without him.

Will you ask God to reveal to you the un-sung heroes in your life and then honor them by expressing your gratitude? How can you be a blessing to them today?

I was sitting in church watching the families around me, with a steady stream of tears on my cheeks. Chris and Matt were visiting their father. I was alone with the baby.

I drove past a nursery on the way home from the service. Something told me to turn around and go buy a tree. I have no business buying a real tree when I have a free one in storage. But I turned around and bought one anyway. The nursery workers tied it to the top of my truck, and away we went.

The tree was seven feet tall. I'm five-foot-two, and my little helper was pint-sized. But somehow I managed to get the tree in the house by myself. I put it in one of those stands with screws to hold the trunk in place. Definitely a two-person job, yet something held that tree up for me. There was no way I could hold the trunk steady and straight as I tightened the stand, but it never once leaned or toppled over. I had never given much thought to whether or not angels are real. But after that day, I am convinced they exist.

Little Zach and I hung ornaments and watched silly Christmas cartoons until bedtime.

I stayed up late each night to sip tea and gaze upon our beautiful tree. Hope came packaged in the smell of fresh pine and the soft glow of tiny lights...a gift from God. I don't have memories of the holidays growing up. But He gave me good memories with my children, safe to open year after year.

Merry Christmas, stubborn child of God.