The heart is the place where we experience the full width and depth of life. We dream our wildest dreams, protect our most private secrets, and root our deepest loves. Holding such treasures, your heart is not only valuable and purposeful, but it is also vulnerable. It is here that you experience the most intense joy and absorb the most horrific pain.

All of the issues of life flow out of the heart. If it matters to you, know that it has flowed through your heart. Your heart processes every significant  event in your life, both positive and negative: tender first love, great accomplishment, destructive words, damaging abuse. The heart can be wounded, seemingly beyond repair, be driven by conviction, or become as hard as stone.

Why would God create our heart to be so tender and yet allow it to be exposed to such and intense variety of life experiences? A fully-lived life requires a fully-experienced life. Without both joy and sorrow, we cannot fully appreciate any one experience.

For life to be fully lived, it must be experienced in every extreme. The extent to which we are capable of experiencing great disappointment and pain is also the extent to which we have the capacity to know the greatest joy. God wired us for fullness and our hearts require full exposure in order for authentic life to flow.

While we would never choose the extreme moments, they are a part of the plan of God. God designed you to live from your heart. Created to manifest His glory on the earth, you were uniquely made for this moment in time. Hard-wired from the factory of heaven, you were meant to shine. Only when you live life from your heart, embracing all of life's experiences, will you experience the width, the depth, and the height of this great adventure with God.

As children, we were born with a spiritual compass that pointed to a personal and divine destiny. We knew there was a purpose. And we knew it in our hearts. Back then life was an adventure. We looked around every corner for the next exciting thing. We lived in wide-eyed wonder of what was next.

As adults, life usually turns into a series  of calculated risks. The adventure is removed and the expectation dies. We rein in our expectations, hopes, and dreams. We settle for, well...less.

We weren't meant to live this way. We weren't meant to live our lives with God as adults. Remember, we are children of God. We were created for adventure. We were intended to be daring, bold, fabulous...remarkable! We were meant to reflect the explosive life and dynamic creativity of our God, our Maker.

Sadly, most of us have grown up and given up. The life we were created for has died because somewhere along the way, we quit living--we stopped being kids. For some, it happened instantaneously in a traumatic event: abuse, molestation, or abandonment. For others, it happened over time. It was slow, almost painless. It wasn't a physical death, but something much more severe--spiritual death. However it happened, whenever it happened, whoever, or whatever caused it; we died.

How did it happen to you? When did you change? How old were you when your heart began to die? When did you decide it just wasn't worth the risk? Who or what wounded your heart? 



"Okay ladies. See what I mean? All heart. Please visit www.elevatehim.com today and order your copy of The Original Sanctuary. You'll find space in the book to journal. You can also view their interview on The Life Today show."

I didn't like John for two reasons. First, he was unethical. He had taken advantage of two people I like. (I could have said cheated because it involved money.) Second, he was what my dad called a blowhard: a lot of loud noise but no substance behind it.

A few months ago John and I were among two dozen teachers at a conference. Although I had no direct dealings with him, I was aware of his presence and realized how much I didn't like him. I began to pray daily for John. I reminded myself that it was the right thing to do.

Each morning I prayed to God to make him an honorable, ethical man. That continued for perhaps a month. One day I realized the obvious: What I disliked in John was what I disliked in myself. I want to be ethical, but I realized that sometimes my motives aren't pure. I do right things for wrong reasons, such as say something kind when I don't feel particularly sympathetic.

The other part of John probably bothered me even more: his loud, empty words. It's not that I'd call my words empty, but sometimes I'm boastful and arrogant. I call attention to myself or more often to my accomplishments.

Again, I prayed for John, but I also prayed for acceptance of the John-part inside of me. That went on for three or four months. And I want to be clear that John isn't the only person on my daily prayer list. I cried out to God for seven or eight people for different reasons, but all of them were spiritually deficient in some way.

Two mornings ago I realized something radically new--at least to me. I don't see myself as particularly insightful and it takes a while for me to grasp the obvious.

As I prayed for John and others, here's the message I grasped. John and all the others are creatures of God. They're loved by God because--okay, just because that's how God set it up. Again, obvious.

As long as I was critical of John, I was also critical of myself. It meant to me that there were still parts of myself that I hadn't accepted: parts of myself that I rejected or didn't like.

That insight led to the next bright light.: As long as I remained critical of others--that is, judgmental or accusing--I was being judgmental about myself. The more I accepted Jonh as lovable, the more I embraced myself.

This isn't to say I ignored his behavior, or that I won't stand up against evil, or that I shrug when anyone does anything wrong. It is to day that I realized this truth: my attitude toward others is an excellent measure of my own self-acceptance. The more self-loving, self-affirming I become, the more I'm able to affirm John and people like him. It also means the more I realize God's magnificent grace toward me.

I still pray for John. But now, instead of complaining because of his lack of ethics, I ask God to help John overcome his problems. Instead of criticizing him for his failures, I can honestly say I want him to be blessed and happy.

I had one further insight on how to look at this. Jesus' words in the New Testament tell us to love others (neighbors) as we love ourselves. The as means on the same level and it also implies loving ourselves first.

For me, that means when I criticize others, I see it as a symptom of my own lack of self-acceptance. The qualities and actions I criticize in others help me to see my own self-love level.

The more self-loving I become, the more I can extend that love to other individuals. "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Did Jesus have to give us the command to love others on the same level we love ourselves? Maybe not, because that's what we do.

 For a list of books written by Cecil Murphy or to sign up for his news letter, visit: www.cecilmurphy.com

Isaiah 58:12 "Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings."

I love to travel. One of my favorite destinations is old ruins, especially in England and France. Castles that used to stand tall and strong. Built on foundations made to last.

Due to the destructive forces of war and weather, many of these ruins have not been kept up, not restored. They have been laid waste by the ravages of time.

Just like a castle without upkeep and care, water and mold can seep into cracks in the foundation of families, into weaknesses created by holes in the walls. Eventually the structures collapse, especially if they are not tended to.

The Bible is clear about how the Lord feels about water seeping into the walls of families. "...For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments." (Exodus 20:5-7 NKJV)

This scripture gives a clear picture of God's purpose in allowing sin to visit and stay with a family as long as they enter in and not break the cycle.

In psychological terms, the Lord is talking about generational sin, those actions, beliefs, patterns, and behaviors inherent in families. Abuse, addictions, adultery, anger, rage, idolatry, money extremes, pride, rebellion, and sexual sin are just a few of the issues that become habitual if not dealt with in families.

Seeing family issues on paper can be helpful in the healing process. When I was in graduate school we diagramed family issues as an assignment, the good and the bad. By seeing patterns and behaviors on paper we got a clear picture of the generational issues being passed down in our own families.

God is clear about these issues. If not resolved and brought to the light, the Lord's healing power has no opportunity to work. A cycle of sin develops, embedded in the walls of the family castle. They are then passed down to the third and fourth generations. Just as a brick and mortar crumble in a castle, so, too, do foundations in a family fall.

Only with God's help can the ancient ruins be restored.

As a grandmother, I want to be a restorer of those walls--the one who heals and breaks the cycle of sin. Dealing with my own issues as they rise and beg to be healed is one way to begin the healing process. As women we have the opportunity, along with the Great Physician, to be repairers of that breach.

In my family, alcoholism has been a generational issue. By bringing it into the light, through awareness and monitoring my own behavior, I am better able to educate my children and grandchildren about the risk they face. Dealing with it head on, together we can break the cycle of alcoholism in my family.

In his 8 Stages of Psychosocial Development the psychologist Erik Erikson gives us a key to the castle. He states that as adults reach ages forty to sixty-five, we enter into the developmental stage called generativity where we must find a way to satisfy and support the next generation. If we do not choose to heal from our own issues and move forward, we will stagnate and die.

As a grandmother I have a bird's-eye view of these family dynamics, for I now reside in the tower, the highest and longest point in the castle. As the matriarch I am in a position to be a generative force which means I have the opportunity to originate, produce, or procreate life in my family.

Of course God knew this from the beginning for he exhorts us to forgive seventy times seven, to give rather to receive, and to go the extra mile. The good news is that he promises to draw near to those who draw near to him, and to love those who love and keep his commandments. As believers we must build our foundation on this rock.

So let us organize our repair kits and gather our tools. Working alongside the Great Restorer himself, we can heal the ancient ruins, rebuilding and repairing the wall of our families and the castles of this great country.

Marty Norman is a wife, mother, and grandmother of five, who lives in Fort Worth, Texas. You can learn more about her at:

www.martynorman.com

http://martynorman.blogspot.com

http://savvygrandmothers.blogspot.com

Her book, Generation G - Advice For Grandmothers Who Will Never Go Gray, can be purchased at local bookstores or www.amazon.com.

My friend, Patricia, is a fused-glass artist. Sitting on my desk is a small cross that she made from seventy-five pieces of glass. Some colors change when they are fired in the furnace, so each piece was individually chosen, hand-cut, and perfectly shaped. No mold is used and no two are exactly alike. The process and product is amazing--ordinary glass becomes a work of art.

Now if I took those same pieces of glass, I could formualte an absolute mess. However, from the hands of an artist, comes beauty.

God paints the sky, tints the ocean, colors the flowers, and creates beauty for us to enjoy every day. He also created each of us--individually and no two are alike. Within each of us are pieces of good and bad memories, events, and influences.

I'll be honest; I didn't want any of my "bad" pieces. I wanted to hide them away, throw them out, or pretend they didn't exist. Fortunately I can ask for forgiveness for the bad things I have done, but what about all the pain and suffering caused by others?

Remember those glass pieces which are one color before the furnace? The fire brings out new hues, depth, and beauty. God is the artist. He takes our messed up lives, mends our wounds, and with His unfailing love fires through the broken pieces and creates beauty.

No matter what we have experienced in the past, in God's hands we will always be a work of art.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time..." (Ecclesiastes 3:11 NIV).

For more information about the author, please visit www.lisabuffaloe.com

I've been through a lot, but I haven't been through everything. Here, special guests will offer additional insight on how God equips them to walk through challenging circumstances.

Topics will vary, but they'll be stored in this category.