A sobering subject, but one that's been on my heart lately. And as usual, I'm writing about the lessons I've learned the hard way. 

Last weekend my husband, Michael, took our ten-year-old, Zach, on an adventure. Never mind that it was twenty-seven degrees outside. They sat at the kitchen table with a map and a highlighter, plotting out their attack on the grasslands.

I did what mom's do best--served up a "manly" breakfast and smiled the "you-guys-are-crazy-smile" as they loaded up the jeep. And then off they went, with the windows rolled down, so that our two labs could feel the wind on their faces. Did I mention it was twenty-seven degrees outside?

Ahhh... A woman with the house to herself. "Thank you, God, for the day they will have together and for how far you've brought our family."

At 5:30 PM they returned, covered in mud, and with pictures to prove how they got that way. I watched a video of Zach climbing an enormous tree, its roots exposed, right off the bank of a lake. I quickly pointed out that if Zach had fallen, he would've landed in the freezing water. I wish I had a picture of the smile on my husbands face when he proudly exclaimed, "I know, I wanted to see if he was strong enough to do it!" 

I realize more than ever, how important it is for boys to  be provided with opportunities to be strong and effective every day. (Girls, too, but their opportunities are presented differently.)I have three sons, so today it's about mom's and boys.

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Published on Wednesday, February 3, 2010 @ 12:38 AM CST
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When The Medicine Place was but a dream in my heart, more than one godly person I respect told me that it wouldn't look like I thought it would. I found that a little disconcerting, given the fact that I didn't have a clue what it would look like, other than that it would be a ministry for survivors of child sexual abuse.

Eighteen months after launching the on-line ministry, their comments make perfect sense. As you can see, there is a list of categories you can now choose from. I'm not sure how it came about. It was never a decision I made, it just evolved into something more than a ministry exclusively for women who have been sexually abused.

And the reality is, my testimony, which can be read in my book The Jonah Chronicles, is about so much more than overcoming the effects of child sexual abuse. The truth is, many bad choices were made from the depravity of my childhood, long after the abuse had ended. And with those choices, came consequences. 

I recently shared my testimony with a Celebrate Recovery group and just before I was introduced, I read the list of "hang ups" listed on the program handout:

alcoholism, divorce, sexual abuse, codependency, domestic violence, drug addiction, sexual addiction, over/under eating, gambling, overworking, abandonment, anxiety, anger, depression,perfectionist, fear, lying, overspending, abused/abuser, grief, insecurity, guilt, loneliness, financial struggles, relationship problems, slave to something, too busy, frustrated, and or lost.

Wow. My life has been affected by every hang-up on that list, with the exception of gambling, unless you count getting involved with a drug addict and thinking I could keep him clean. It's mind boggling really, how Christ came into my heart and began to unravel the layers of crazy over my life; some of it self-inflicted, though certainly not all.   

There are many circumstances that can make a woman feel desperate and overwhelmed. Most of us were not hurt by one neat little topic at a time and most of us don't heal that way either. Damage and the redemption of it have a way of spilling over into more than one area of our lives. And so, you'll find that blog topics will vary.

The goal for all of us is to follow the Savior's lead. He may lead us into a healing process over abuse for several months, and then turn our attention to something else for a while. It's a process...a journey really, and He decides on the scenery from one day to the next, not us.

The longer I held His hand on the journey to healing, the less concerned I became about "healing." Christ slowly became the sought after prize in my life and one day I looked up and I was no longer bound to that long list of hang-ups...by then my freedom was in knowing who He created me to be.

Spend some time with God today...alone. I don't offer you easy steps to healing, but I will validate you, comfort you, equip you from personal experience, and honor you along the way. Your journey to healing may look completely different than mine, but we share the same Healer. Follow Him into your own destiny.

And you my friend, will have a story to tell!

Published on Monday, January 25, 2010 @ 5:22 PM CST
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The other day I watered a plant that had gone neglected over the holidays. I had put it in the spare room to make room for "Christmas."

It was in desperate need of sunlight and water...attention. As I was watering my sad plant, in my spirit, I heard God say, "All forms of neglect grieve Me. I created plants, too."

It got me thinking. When we neglect a plant, an animal, a child, a parent, a spouse, a friend, a widow, an orphan; what and who He has created, it grieves Him.

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Published on Thursday, January 21, 2010 @ 8:24 AM CST
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Omission of truth. A full blown in-your-face lie. Betrayal. Infidelity. Addictions to pornography, drugs, or alcohol...not all wounds are created equal.

Men and women who face any of these challenges, know well the emotional pain that accompanies a marriage that for a season, has become more of a battlefield than a blessing. Several years ago, while listening to a pastor disclose that most problems in marriage come from an accumulation of little things; the dishes, the trash, a bill not being paid on time; I whispered to my friend, "Just once I wish Michael and I would have an argument over something insignificant."

Back then, most of our fights were over his relapses. I tried to be a supportive wife. I spoke life over him, prayed for him, studied my Bible, and thanked God daily for my husband. Between my efforts to remain a faithful and godly wife, I took aerobic classes and with every knee lift, thought to myself, I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!

On my way home from the gym I would ask God to forgive me. I love him. I love him. I love him. And then I would cry, and cry, and cry.

Today, my husband is clean, sober, and amazing! I just happen to believe that the grace of God shines through a lot brighter when we're honest about how broken we once were. If you can relate to my former struggles, I'm going to share something that will set your feet on higher ground, if today you happen to be at your wits end.

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Published on Tuesday, January 19, 2010 @ 11:43 AM CST
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Last sunday as I sat in church, the pastor asked us to bow our heads and close our eyes so that he could ask a personal question. I imagined him asking for a show of hands from the people who still hadn't taken down their Christmas trees. No need to feel embarassed. Just a quick slip of your hand. Thank you for being honest. Bless you. Bless you. Hands are raised all over the room.

Have you ever just run out of steam? I've gone from stopping to smell the roses to stopping to camp in the garden. Normally when I spend time with God, it energizes me and I become more productive. But for reasons unbeknownst to me, the more time I spend with God, the more I want to nap afterward. 

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Published on Tuesday, January 12, 2010 @ 5:43 PM CST
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